The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
I am such a badass
My friends all think I'm cool
And when I wear my studded belts
The goth chicks they all drool
I eat glass for breakfast
Got barbed wire underwear
I even pieced my uvula
So don't you even dare
Look at me the wrong way
Cause it'll be your end
I'll choke you with my wallet chain
Then murder all your friends
And nobody will ever know my darkest secret
I can't trust anybody else enough to keep it
If they only knew...
That I'm a closet Hilary Duff fan
And when my friends can't see
I dance around and sing her songs in my autographed Hilary Tee
Yeah I'm a closet Hilary Duff fan
And though I act all tough
The shivers run right up my spine when I see her strutting her stuff
I just can't get enough of Hilary Duff
Now you can call me soft
(If you wanna)
But I don't think that's true
I didn't even flinch when I got my Hilary tattoo
And I hate Lindsay Lohan
I can't stand Brittney Spears
I'd love to throw Shakira down a nice long set of stairs
But there's something about Hilary
She gives me what I need
I belt her songs out all day long
My vocal chords they bleed
And nobody will ever know my deep dark secret
I've killed before and will again just to keep it
Cause they're so... so yesterday, so yesterday
Love that Hilary
Yeah I'm a closet Hilary Duff fan
And noone else can know
And I'm the only one who mosh pits when she's putting on her show
Yeah I'm a closet Hilary Duff fan
She saves me when I'm bored
Her voice helps pass the day away while I'm working at the morgue
I just can't get enough of Hilary Duff
Got her on my iPod
I labeled her as "Korn"
Her videos on my PC
Are more hidden than my porn
Cause my parents would disown me
My girlfriend, she would leave
My friends would just kick the everloving shit right out of me
Cause I'm a closet Hilary Duff fan
And when my friends can't see
I dance around and sing her songs in my autographed Hilary Tee
Yeah I'm a closet Hilary Duff fan
And though I act all tough
The shivers run right up my spine when I see her strutting her stuff
I just can't get enough of Hilary Duff
Lyrics submitted by JohnnyLurg
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