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All the seats at the sunday masses,
Filled with the mass's mass of asses,
Classes pass as fast as molasses.
Ceremonial reading glasses.
Read a little bit of leviticus.
All the kids are a little too little for this.
All the parents nod in agreement -
"I think I can vaguely see what he meant."
It's too early in the morning glory
To read another allegory story,
The father, reads a little bit farther,
Assuring the assured that they need not bother
"when god, in verse 45, said that slaves are okay to buy,
He meant that people, all from the start
Each have slaves within their hearts.
Things, that we have sold or boughten, that are forced to pick our moral cotton
God calls us to set these free, free our hearts from slavery...
And then as god goes on to explain the logistics of buying and selling slaves..."

In the back, I sit and I nod to the beats that are bumpin from my ipod
My god, they're starting to pray
And over the music I can hear them say
"dear god, dear lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword.
Dear good all-seeing being, my way or the highway yahway.
The blue-balled anti-masturbator, the great, all-loving faggot hater,
I'd like to thank your holy might for making me both rich and white
And though this is your day of rest, I come to you with one request
There's so much pain beyond this steeple,
Wars and drugs and homeless people.
Sadness where there should be joy, hate and rape and soulja boy.
A world in darkness needs your light, so I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
But my dog just had surgery if you could fix that first...

Debra messing's fingers in a holy place, "hail mary full of grace."

Obama, could you pass some hope to the pope?
I know a couple dude's who wanna elope
See the pope said, "nope" so the bros can't cope.
(The bros can grope but the bros can't cope)
They've been in love, they've been addicted
Who said they shouldn't? benedict did.
Cause in the holy land of the lord he's the holy landlord and dicks are evicted.
Cause you can be a benedict if you've been a dick under benedict but
You can't have benedicts because there's only one pope and only one dick
What? Yeah, a dick on a pope is
Just like a soap on a rope cause it's
Pointless, unless in prison, throw up your bibles, christ has risen.
Hallelujah, now it's raining men,
Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10.
Winos at the eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation
Jesus wasn't the messiah, get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
It was oedipus, and those holy nights
The holy motherfucking christ.
I'm a blasphemah post-katrina cruising the marina. on a crusade to cruise aids
And blast FEMA
You're too late, we're fucked we don't need ya.

In the name of the father, son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
Turn up your nose, strike that pose.

Lyrics submitted by smexch

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  • +2
    General CommentGod this is one hell of a song!
    TheLlabmikon January 14, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI love how it makes fun of Christianity, and all the problems that it has. Love his songs, this is the best
    Vigi1ant3on February 11, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis is absolutely effing *genius.* My favorite part is the "the blue-balled anti-masturbator, the great, all-loving faggot hater".
    I love how it's clear that not many people understand what he's saying, or the message he's sending.
    The world needs more Atheists like Bo.
    This is by far his best song.
    heygirlsnameon June 27, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI would consider myself a fairly strong Christian, but I love this song.
    Bo Burnham is simply brilliant.
    randommusicluveron September 11, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Comment@ctportugal

    Actually he does identify as an atheist (although not necessarily as an "adeist"). Source: his recent podcast interview with Pete Holmes.

    I'd like to make two further points:

    1. The mere fact that someone went to a religious school does not disprove the claim that they are an atheist. I am a case in point - I went to a religious school for a range of reasons, none of which had anything to do with my own beliefs (or lack thereof).

    2. You come very close to implying that there is a logical connection between being an atheist and "not caring about anything". There is no such connection.
    alyipon June 05, 2012   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThat said, I do agree with you that this song is not so much an attack on the principle of religious belief per se, but rather a commentary on the practice of organised religion (and in particular, Catholicism).
    alyipon June 05, 2012   Link
  • -1
    General CommentAlright, hes not "athiest" he went to religious schools, i think he does have some sort of faith somewhere but his comedy somewhat revolves around him not caring about anything. I think it would break his character if he did believe in god, also songs like this just point out all the flaws with religion, granted this is the best, funniest, most clever one ive ever heard but no where does it say "hey dont believe in god!" and no where does it say "im bo burnham and i think gods pretend!" those points arent important, this song strictly calls out religion for being so crazy!which it is crazy, in most cases but god is cool. Dont hate on him, hate on the people that messed up religion
    ctportugalon May 28, 2012   Link

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