In regards to the meaning of this song:
Before a live performance on the EP Five Stories Falling, Geoff states “It’s about the last time I went to visit my grandmother in Columbus, and I saw that she was dying and it was the last time I was going to see her. It is about realizing how young you are, but how quickly you can go.”
That’s the thing about Geoff and his sublime poetry, you think it’s about one thing, but really it’s about something entirely different. But the lyrics are still universal and omnipresent, ubiquitous, even. So relatable. That’s one thing I love about this band. I also love their live performances, raw energy and Geoff’s beautiful, imperfectly perfect vocals. His voice soothes my aching soul.
Its Christmas time,
I wrote a dumb ass rhyme,
about whats on tv,
they shoot it in jersey.
I'm gonna pretend,
that hair my hair don't bend,
that I'm a Guido,
that probably wears a speedo.
I love my hair gel,
I always yell,
I think I'm hot as hell,
see that's what my mama tells me.
I have perfect abs,
they are right above my crabs,
they should be gone by now,
I guess Ill go work out.
Because,
they Santa Claus wears red patent leather,
however good he looks, bitch I'd look better,
Fat as hell but quiet as a fuckin' mouse.
Don't know much bout you but I swear to heaven,
if some punk comes in past eleven,
I'ma kick ass I'm the situation,
that's how it's done in the Jersey Shore nation.
I'm on probation.
Not coppin' attitude,
mothafucka whats wrong with you,
Ill break your goddamn arm,
oh, excuse me father Tom.
Its Christmas time,
I'm drunk on bad church wine,
tried to sleep with a nun,
she said no but I think she wanted some.
Because,
they say Santa Claus wears red patent leather,
however good he looks, bitch Id look better
Fat as hell but quiet as a fuckin' mouse.
Don't know much 'bout you but I swear to heaven,
if some punk comes in past eleven,
I'ma kick ass I'm the situation,
that's how its done in the Jersey Shore Nation.
It's a stupid joke,
about guys who are really yoked,
I hope they never see,
they'd come to murder me.
I mean no harm,
no need to sound the alarm,
Ill see you on TMZ,
Merry Christmas Jersey.
Livin' it up in the hotel of California,
such a lovely place, such a lovely place.
Plenty of room at the hotel of California,
anytime of year, you can find me here.
I wrote a dumb ass rhyme,
about whats on tv,
they shoot it in jersey.
I'm gonna pretend,
that hair my hair don't bend,
that I'm a Guido,
that probably wears a speedo.
I love my hair gel,
I always yell,
I think I'm hot as hell,
see that's what my mama tells me.
I have perfect abs,
they are right above my crabs,
they should be gone by now,
I guess Ill go work out.
Because,
they Santa Claus wears red patent leather,
however good he looks, bitch I'd look better,
Fat as hell but quiet as a fuckin' mouse.
Don't know much bout you but I swear to heaven,
if some punk comes in past eleven,
I'ma kick ass I'm the situation,
that's how it's done in the Jersey Shore nation.
I'm on probation.
Not coppin' attitude,
mothafucka whats wrong with you,
Ill break your goddamn arm,
oh, excuse me father Tom.
Its Christmas time,
I'm drunk on bad church wine,
tried to sleep with a nun,
she said no but I think she wanted some.
Because,
they say Santa Claus wears red patent leather,
however good he looks, bitch Id look better
Fat as hell but quiet as a fuckin' mouse.
Don't know much 'bout you but I swear to heaven,
if some punk comes in past eleven,
I'ma kick ass I'm the situation,
that's how its done in the Jersey Shore Nation.
It's a stupid joke,
about guys who are really yoked,
I hope they never see,
they'd come to murder me.
I mean no harm,
no need to sound the alarm,
Ill see you on TMZ,
Merry Christmas Jersey.
Livin' it up in the hotel of California,
such a lovely place, such a lovely place.
Plenty of room at the hotel of California,
anytime of year, you can find me here.
Lyrics submitted by ay35
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Hey, you missed a lyric, it goes:
they Santa Claus wears red patent leather, however good he looks, bitch I'd look better, middle of the night he's in your house, Fat as hell but quiet as a fuckin' mouse.