i conquered my own childhood silence and now the world is my lit confessional marquee,
but it'd take a busload of high school soccer girls to wash those hospitals off me

oh, am i clean?
nineteen.

they said sex will keep you young and make you older at the same time,
they said sex will have left you aged normally,
and so i guess it's sorta like smoking and walking at the same time
in that it will have left you aged normally

oh, am i clean?
lord, please, why me?

i wish i could feel close to somebody but i don't feel nothing.
now they say i need to quit doing all this random ffff-
now i think my upstairs neighbor hears me masturbating,
and there's other one's peeping through the slits in my curtains
and i never got a name for my shady compulsion
'cause i messed up and kissed my shrink in a jersey city hotel room..
and i know saying all this in public should make me feel funny,
but ya gotta yell something out you'd never tell nobody.

we found the dead fox, and a dozen matchbox cars, when we cut back the hedges on cortelyou place,
how many got lost left so long they grew moss 'cause they recoiled into the shadows of my embrace?
we found the dead fox, and a dozen matchbox cars, when we cut back the hedges on cortelyou place,
how many got lost left so long they grew moss 'cause they recoiled into the shadows of my embrace?

oh, am i clean?
lord, please, why me?


Lyrics submitted by shitscold

Into the Shadows of My Embrace song meanings
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15 Comments

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  • +2
    General CommentBrilliant song. Seems a bit like he's fascinated by the contrast between his nobody days and his new position on the podium... especially when he still feels like the old guy. When people try to get close to him, they can be sucked into the shadow of his being... like a fox in a bush that gets discovered after the fact. I'm 5% confident in all this.
    TaShawnon August 11, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentOne of the greatest songs so far in my opinion
    ComaLogicon August 10, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General Comment"Oh am I clean?
    Nineteen
    They said sex will keep you young and make you older at the same time
    They said sex will have left you aged normally"

    On Yoni's podcast he mentions that he lost his virginity at 19. I think that may be the premise for the song.
    The "Am I clean" line could be interpreted in a number of ways. Maybe he felt morally filthy after having sex, especially if he just did it to do it and not be virgin anymore. It could also have a double meaning with him being a virgin feeling like a weight on his shoulders, like some baggage he'd been carrying around for too long and after shedding it all off, asks if he's finally clean. Which would make sense with all the pressure our society and culture place on men to be hypersexual in their teenage years.

    "I conquered my own childhood silence
    And now the world is my lit confessional marquee"

    The childhood silence could just be referencing an absence of sex while growing up.
    However, on his podcast he also talks about how he was very shy and quite as a kid.
    Perhaps having sex was something that helped him come out of his shell.
    And maybe that lead to him being able to better express himself/get some of the deeper, darker shit off his chest -- which is actually one of the reasons why I really admire his work.
    Not all, but many artists' -- especially hip-hop artists/rappers -- lyrics seem to build up their egos, while Yoni's is usually tearing his down, talking about things like hair loss, disease, porn/masturbation, shame/depression, psychological disorders, etc.

    There's just this realness and sincerity to Yoni that's very hard to come by. You can tell that, for him, music is usually more for therapeutic purposes than it is for entertainment or business.
    fedzeppelinon May 07, 2014   Link
  • 0
    General Commentearly favorite from the album
    hamfohon July 27, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIt should be "Matchbox cars"
    kurotauron July 29, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHigh school sucker girls?
    leahperon July 29, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI too thought it was sucker but i think it gets the same point across either way
    eskwiomnoson August 13, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI got sort of a 50's doo-wop vibe from the beginning, anyone else?
    tjwellson September 12, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentDuring that whole mid section prior to "We Found..." does anyone else think that Yoni is sounding uncannily like Avey Tare from Animal Collective? For a second I thought they had gotten him to cameo!
    sensitiveeyeson September 14, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentKind of obvious, but the last section references the song Dream On Cortelyou from Oaklandazulasylum.
    james85on October 13, 2009   Link

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