Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
These days are dark and the nights are cold
People acting like they've lost their soul
And everywhere I go I see another person like me
Trying to make it all feel like home
Standing on the bridge in the dark and I'm seeing my breath
Trying to make it home without freezing to death
And my grandfather's face is stuck in my mind
And how seeing him tonight's gonna be the last time
I should've brought a jacket
Blowing in my hands like it's really gonna stop the chill
I buy a cup of coffee with a five dollar bill
Thinking, laying in that box people look so still
At times like these you start thinking
Your first breath in and the clock starts ticking
I'm not trying to bum anyone out
Not trying to be dramatic, just thinking out loud
I'm just trying to make some sense in my mind
Some defence from the cold that I'm feeling outside
And for a minute, escape with some rhythm and rhyme
And get away from the grey just a bit of the time
Yeah, kinda funny how this world can treat you
Like a freak in a sideshow, a carnival creature
Climbing outta cans, I'm a diamond in the sand
But you can't tell the difference on a beach full of rhinestones
My life's like trying to swallow a pinecone
It's tough when you live fast, just to die slow
Talk to dial tones, my dreams are far fetched
It seems so I sleep underneath this park bench
I know it don't make sense
And I don't expect for you to know what it's like
Smoke, drink, piss, sniffing everything in my sight
Push rocks in a pipe
Liftoff, I keep puffin' 'til my lips turn white
And my chest gets tight, but who the fuck really cares
When you're so far left that even death looks right
All I can do is hope for the best and pray
That it gets a little better than yesterday
Pardon me I think I'm next to url
Too many problems going on that's why I left my girl
Packed my bags and I traveled with a pen and my notepad
Pissed that I was broke and all the things that I don't have
But still, I try to find a way to escape
From all the hate planted in my head which lead to mistakes
But now I'm breaking the mold, see I was patient and calm
Many sleep in the rain, but I'm awake in the storm
Writing my life in a short film, The Rise and Fall
How I managed to scorch hills and climb the walls
Pound pavement aimless in this cold existence
Even though things are changing I'm going the distance
Overcoming the doubt that had control for so long
And put it all behind me 'cause life still goes on
Now I'm much stronger, I know where I stand
While lost souls search over and over again
These days are dark and the nights are cold
People acting like they've lost their soul
And everybody's trying not to cry, trying to get by
And trying not to feel out of control
And if you look hard enough
Sometimes you'll find a place that might just remind you of home
But if it doesn't feel like home, you can do what I do
Just pretend you don't feel so alone
People acting like they've lost their soul
And everywhere I go I see another person like me
Trying to make it all feel like home
Standing on the bridge in the dark and I'm seeing my breath
Trying to make it home without freezing to death
And my grandfather's face is stuck in my mind
And how seeing him tonight's gonna be the last time
I should've brought a jacket
Blowing in my hands like it's really gonna stop the chill
I buy a cup of coffee with a five dollar bill
Thinking, laying in that box people look so still
At times like these you start thinking
Your first breath in and the clock starts ticking
I'm not trying to bum anyone out
Not trying to be dramatic, just thinking out loud
I'm just trying to make some sense in my mind
Some defence from the cold that I'm feeling outside
And for a minute, escape with some rhythm and rhyme
And get away from the grey just a bit of the time
Yeah, kinda funny how this world can treat you
Like a freak in a sideshow, a carnival creature
Climbing outta cans, I'm a diamond in the sand
But you can't tell the difference on a beach full of rhinestones
My life's like trying to swallow a pinecone
It's tough when you live fast, just to die slow
Talk to dial tones, my dreams are far fetched
It seems so I sleep underneath this park bench
I know it don't make sense
And I don't expect for you to know what it's like
Smoke, drink, piss, sniffing everything in my sight
Push rocks in a pipe
Liftoff, I keep puffin' 'til my lips turn white
And my chest gets tight, but who the fuck really cares
When you're so far left that even death looks right
All I can do is hope for the best and pray
That it gets a little better than yesterday
Pardon me I think I'm next to url
Too many problems going on that's why I left my girl
Packed my bags and I traveled with a pen and my notepad
Pissed that I was broke and all the things that I don't have
But still, I try to find a way to escape
From all the hate planted in my head which lead to mistakes
But now I'm breaking the mold, see I was patient and calm
Many sleep in the rain, but I'm awake in the storm
Writing my life in a short film, The Rise and Fall
How I managed to scorch hills and climb the walls
Pound pavement aimless in this cold existence
Even though things are changing I'm going the distance
Overcoming the doubt that had control for so long
And put it all behind me 'cause life still goes on
Now I'm much stronger, I know where I stand
While lost souls search over and over again
These days are dark and the nights are cold
People acting like they've lost their soul
And everybody's trying not to cry, trying to get by
And trying not to feel out of control
And if you look hard enough
Sometimes you'll find a place that might just remind you of home
But if it doesn't feel like home, you can do what I do
Just pretend you don't feel so alone
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I think this song is justs going through like a "winter" state of mind where everything seems grey (depression, doubt etc.) and trying to "Feel Like Home" as in a positive happy state.Tak's verse is freaking ill. Few corrections tho I think it's "Overcomming the doubt that had control for so long/ Now I'm much stronger, I know where I stand/While lost souls search over and over again."
This song is about everyone just trying to get by and find a place where they belong, which is understandably made much harder by touring and going round the world all the time, never settling anywhere, barely seeing your actual "home". In Mike's verse, he's on his way to his geandfathers funeral or to see him as he's dying in hospital. Ryu's verse talks about drug addiction and homelessness, and Tak's is about abandoning his relationship and trying to make a career for himself.
Correction to the correction.. lol
Overcomming the doubt that had control for so long Put it all behind me cause life still goes on Now I'm much stronger and know where I stand While lost souls search over and over again
All corrected, I've got the CD now and transcribed the lyrics.
Corrections: "My life's LIKE trying to swallow a pine cone".
"Just pretend you don't feel so ALONE.".
I love the flow of this song. Mike's verse is really crisp, but Ryu's is the illest for me.
this is my favourite song in "rising tied" , so sad, so down, so me...especially the last sentence (But if it doesn't feel like home, you can do what I do Just pretend you don't feel so alone)...the problem is....I think I 'm quit pretending...too tired to do another masquerade...but sometimes, I feel like I have to push myself to make that place could feel like home...even I always fall on vertigo, If I'm thinking it....too much thinking...
tak's verse actually says "overcoming the doubt that had CONTROLLED for so long" - sorry to have to put it in caps, but there's no other way to emphasise it.
I do, I love this song too. It's so powerful, emotional and true in a sence - yet the beat you would think would be more depressing than "upbeat".