Start Without Me

Whoa whoa whoa, a negligent husband with a gambling problem? I don't get that at all... I think it's a man committing suicide out of feelings of inadequacy or failure. He's asking to be rolled over due to an inability to do it himself, but waving to his kids is obviously important. Consider that in this situation, acknowledging his children takes priority over figuring out why he can't move. To me, I took that as him being comfortable or maybe even expecting an inability to move. Mentioning that he doesn't know if he prescribes, makes me think the character reached for any and all pills in the cabinet, and when paramedics suspect an overdose, they usually ask if you are on any prescriptions.

In the verse where he mentions being "at the track" where most people seem to think it's the first mention of a gambling problem, I kind of took it as him calling to check up on his wife to see what she's doing. I very much so took this as a suspicious call, being nosy, etc... "if you start without me" could be dinner with the children while he's away, or it could be a hotel romp, not sure it matters, it just seemed like he's longing for acknowledgment of his attempts, if not any successes at being a good partner.

"Take a message..." seemed to be suggesting that he's only got one chance to say his piece, because he wont be around to clarify or rebut. He wanted this message to survive close scrutiny and have an impact, maybe because it was something he could never speak out loud. As you can guess, I do think he's talking about a suicide note.

The next stanza mentioning money behind the pictures seems to be blending the idea that he'll miss the memories and all the good times they had, and a "don't worry, I'll still provide for you the only thing that you ever really needed me for, you're just going to have to get through all the things I loved in life to get it"

"If it's once I got it..." this line is probably the most (for me) stirring and amazing example of Bazan's ability to say so much by hiding it in something that should be mundane. I think he's talking about being there to answer the phone. Kind of like an "I'll be in the office, so I'll get the phone" but if it rings more than once, he either does not intend to answer, or he is not able to. A stunning example of anti-climacticism where he seems to be saying that she'll know he's gone, and she'll have to get the phone. Not so much a "you'll have to do the little things I used to do for you" statement so much as a "this is how you'll know I'm gone, but don't forget to answer the phone before you bother to care"

He feels worthless, incapable, unlovable, unremarkable, and unmemorable. A loaded song, and heartbreaking to say the least.