This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I sit here clutching useless lists
And keys for doors that don't exist
I crack my teeth on pearls
I tear into the history
Just show me what it means to me in this world
Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Til I understand or go blind
I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and scholars both
No perfect plan unfurls
Do I trust my heart of just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find
In this world
Yeah in this world
Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Til I understand or go blind
I know that there's a point I've missed
A shrine or stone I haven't kissed
A scar that never graced my wrist
A mirror that hasn't met my fist
But I can't help feeling that I'm
Due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
And keys for doors that don't exist
I crack my teeth on pearls
I tear into the history
Just show me what it means to me in this world
Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Til I understand or go blind
I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and scholars both
No perfect plan unfurls
Do I trust my heart of just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find
In this world
Yeah in this world
Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Til I understand or go blind
I know that there's a point I've missed
A shrine or stone I haven't kissed
A scar that never graced my wrist
A mirror that hasn't met my fist
But I can't help feeling that I'm
Due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
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It doesn't have to be about faith and religion. Spirituality is more important than some organized dogmas from archaic religions. He's trying to find a spiritual path not necessarily a religious one. I also believe the line "I crack my teeth on pearls" is referring to pearls of wisdom in his search "I tear into the history" that are oh so quaint but never satisfying that search for the truth "Just show me what it means to me in this world".
Just my opinion.