Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
I get bombed much like Pearl Harbor
The price is white right and I'm Bob Barker
This is your brain on drugs
This is your brain on Jackie Onassis
All you crotch goblins can kiss our asses
Yes siree Bob like corn on the cob
I'm all buttered up ready to hob nob
Daddy is a kraut you're Nazi-occupied France
I'm gonna rise to the occasion inside my pants
So yo ass yea you I want to Fraggle Rock your girlie
Coming around the party coming around like Mr. Furley
I'm Mr. Furley you're Jack Tripper
You're dumb ass Gilligan and I'm the Skipper
Tiptoe through my tulips and come and frolic
Cause my name is Betty Ford and she's an alcoholic
So here I am Rock Me Like A Hurricane
Not a Scorpion but my sting will bring your dame a lot of pain
And Daddy's gonna tell ya I'm as cool as Jack The Ripper
Somewhat of a cut-throat but still a big tipper
As I tickle you pink I bet my fingers start to stink
I'm what's missing from your life and you're the missing link
It doesn't matter how you win or lose it's how you lick it
No rest for the wicked
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off
Flips it up in the air like my name was Bob Barker
I always kicks it cold so I gotta wear my parka
Leaving down my marker stalking like a stalker
Using the Force like my name was Luke Skywalker
Left hand's on the wheel and the right one on the bottle
One foot in the grave and the other on the throttle
I'm floating through your atmosphere like the Comet Haley's
As freaky as a freak show call me Barnum and Bailey
So yo ho my Cheerio here I'm coming around the bend
Don't try to shake my hand I'm not your fucking friend
Bodyslam ya to the ground like I was captain Lou Albano
Hit ya in the balls til you're singing soprano
Slide to the dance floor groove til you get sore
Listen to the tiger's roar I'll pump you like a seesaw
I'm a tattooed demon do you catch my meaning
Think that you're dreaming but soon you'll be screaming
I got more senseless violence than a thriller in Manila
Like my hero Gacy I'm a stone cold killer
Got my moves from Thriller I'm Fish you're Barney Miller
I'm spreading out the carnage like I'm Mechagodzilla
Like Jimmy Pop says he's as cool as Jack The Ripper
So take off your panties and kick off your slippers
Do as i say and I will be a big tipper
More smooth moves than my man Jack Tripper
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off
The price is white right and I'm Bob Barker
This is your brain on drugs
This is your brain on Jackie Onassis
All you crotch goblins can kiss our asses
Yes siree Bob like corn on the cob
I'm all buttered up ready to hob nob
Daddy is a kraut you're Nazi-occupied France
I'm gonna rise to the occasion inside my pants
So yo ass yea you I want to Fraggle Rock your girlie
Coming around the party coming around like Mr. Furley
I'm Mr. Furley you're Jack Tripper
You're dumb ass Gilligan and I'm the Skipper
Tiptoe through my tulips and come and frolic
Cause my name is Betty Ford and she's an alcoholic
So here I am Rock Me Like A Hurricane
Not a Scorpion but my sting will bring your dame a lot of pain
And Daddy's gonna tell ya I'm as cool as Jack The Ripper
Somewhat of a cut-throat but still a big tipper
As I tickle you pink I bet my fingers start to stink
I'm what's missing from your life and you're the missing link
It doesn't matter how you win or lose it's how you lick it
No rest for the wicked
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off
Flips it up in the air like my name was Bob Barker
I always kicks it cold so I gotta wear my parka
Leaving down my marker stalking like a stalker
Using the Force like my name was Luke Skywalker
Left hand's on the wheel and the right one on the bottle
One foot in the grave and the other on the throttle
I'm floating through your atmosphere like the Comet Haley's
As freaky as a freak show call me Barnum and Bailey
So yo ho my Cheerio here I'm coming around the bend
Don't try to shake my hand I'm not your fucking friend
Bodyslam ya to the ground like I was captain Lou Albano
Hit ya in the balls til you're singing soprano
Slide to the dance floor groove til you get sore
Listen to the tiger's roar I'll pump you like a seesaw
I'm a tattooed demon do you catch my meaning
Think that you're dreaming but soon you'll be screaming
I got more senseless violence than a thriller in Manila
Like my hero Gacy I'm a stone cold killer
Got my moves from Thriller I'm Fish you're Barney Miller
I'm spreading out the carnage like I'm Mechagodzilla
Like Jimmy Pop says he's as cool as Jack The Ripper
So take off your panties and kick off your slippers
Do as i say and I will be a big tipper
More smooth moves than my man Jack Tripper
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off
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GREAT SONG