In regards to the meaning of this song:
Before a live performance on the EP Five Stories Falling, Geoff states “It’s about the last time I went to visit my grandmother in Columbus, and I saw that she was dying and it was the last time I was going to see her. It is about realizing how young you are, but how quickly you can go.”
That’s the thing about Geoff and his sublime poetry, you think it’s about one thing, but really it’s about something entirely different. But the lyrics are still universal and omnipresent, ubiquitous, even. So relatable. That’s one thing I love about this band. I also love their live performances, raw energy and Geoff’s beautiful, imperfectly perfect vocals. His voice soothes my aching soul.
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
"I hate those Christmas cards!"
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Salvation Army
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
"Aw geez"
"I'm trying to rig up these lights!"
And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
"I want ant farmer for Christmas"
"Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?"
Five months of bills
"Ah, mailing out these cards!"
"Edith, get me a beer, huh!"
"What, we have no extension chord?!?"
And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
"Daddy, I want some candy!"
"Donations!"
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
"Writing up those Christmas cards"
Hangovers
"Now why the hell aren't they blinking?"
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
"Buy me something!"
"Get a job ya bum!"
Facing the inlaws
Five months of bills
"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards"
"Ah geez, look at this!"
"One light goes out, they all go out!"
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
"I gotta go to the bathroom"
Charities
"She's a witch, I hate her!"
Five months of bills
"Oh, I don't even know half these people!"
"Who's got the toilet paper?"
"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!"
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas Carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
"Waaah!"
Charities
Gotta make 'em dinner
Five months of bills
"I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!"
"Shut up, you!"
"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"
And finding a Christmas tree
Is finding a Christmas tree
The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
"I hate those Christmas cards!"
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
And finding a Christmas tree
The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Salvation Army
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
"Aw geez"
"I'm trying to rig up these lights!"
And finding a Christmas tree
The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
"I want ant farmer for Christmas"
"Charities, and what do you mean your inlaws?"
Five months of bills
"Ah, mailing out these cards!"
"Edith, get me a beer, huh!"
"What, we have no extension chord?!?"
And finding a Christmas tree
The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
"Daddy, I want some candy!"
"Donations!"
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
"Writing up those Christmas cards"
Hangovers
"Now why the hell aren't they blinking?"
And finding a Christmas tree
The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
"Buy me something!"
"Get a job ya bum!"
Facing the inlaws
Five months of bills
"Yo ho, sending Christmas cards"
"Ah geez, look at this!"
"One light goes out, they all go out!"
And finding a Christmas tree
The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking spaces
"I gotta go to the bathroom"
Charities
"She's a witch, I hate her!"
Five months of bills
"Oh, I don't even know half these people!"
"Who's got the toilet paper?"
"Get a flashlight, I blew a fuse!"
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas Carols
Stale TV specials
Batteries not included
No parking
"Waaah!"
Charities
Gotta make 'em dinner
Five months of bills
"I'm not sending them, Mister, that's it!"
"Shut up, you!"
"Fine, you're so smart, you rig up the lights!"
And finding a Christmas tree
Lyrics submitted by Madame Me
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