Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
I saw the gap again today
While you were begging me to stay
Take care not to make me enter
If I do, we both may disappear
Know that I will choke until I swallow
Choke this infant here before me
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge or strike you down?
But you're pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
You still love me, you still love me
But you didn't need to push it on me
You still love me, you still love me
But you didn't need to push it on me
Rest your trigger on my finger
Bang my head upon the fault line
You'd better take care not to make me enter
'Cause if I do, we both may disappear
But you're pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
You still love me, you still love me
But you didn't need to push it on me
You're pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
I'm slipping back into the gap again
I'm alive when you're touching me
Alive when you're shoving me down, yeah
But I'd trade it all for just a little peace of mind
Push it on me
Push it on me
Push it on me
Push it on me
You're pushing and shoving and scrambling
Keep my feet flat on the ground
I am somewhere I don't wanna be, yeah
Push me somewhere I don't wanna be
You put me somewhere I don't wanna be
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see
Never wanna see that place again
Saw that gap again today
While you were begging me to stay
Managed to push myself away
And you, as well, my dear
If when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement anyway
I must persuade you another way
Pushing and shoving
Pushing and shoving, pushing me
There's no love in fear
Yeah, I'm staring down the hole again
Hands are on my back again
Survival is my only friend
Terrified of what may come, yeah
Remember I'll always love you
As I claw your fucking throat away
It will end no other way
It will end no other way
While you were begging me to stay
Take care not to make me enter
If I do, we both may disappear
Know that I will choke until I swallow
Choke this infant here before me
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge or strike you down?
But you're pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
You still love me, you still love me
But you didn't need to push it on me
You still love me, you still love me
But you didn't need to push it on me
Rest your trigger on my finger
Bang my head upon the fault line
You'd better take care not to make me enter
'Cause if I do, we both may disappear
But you're pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
You still love me, you still love me
But you didn't need to push it on me
You're pushing and shoving me
Pushing and shoving me
I'm slipping back into the gap again
I'm alive when you're touching me
Alive when you're shoving me down, yeah
But I'd trade it all for just a little peace of mind
Push it on me
Push it on me
Push it on me
Push it on me
You're pushing and shoving and scrambling
Keep my feet flat on the ground
I am somewhere I don't wanna be, yeah
Push me somewhere I don't wanna be
You put me somewhere I don't wanna be
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see
Never wanna see that place again
Saw that gap again today
While you were begging me to stay
Managed to push myself away
And you, as well, my dear
If when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay
You minimize my movement anyway
I must persuade you another way
Pushing and shoving
Pushing and shoving, pushing me
There's no love in fear
Yeah, I'm staring down the hole again
Hands are on my back again
Survival is my only friend
Terrified of what may come, yeah
Remember I'll always love you
As I claw your fucking throat away
It will end no other way
It will end no other way
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This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
omg this song is absolutely awesome. one of the best tool songs of all time. live specifically