First stanza-
The situation was broken from the start, but he looked past the brokenness, and thought things could go well.
Bridge-
He thought he would be able to chase his dreams but he didn't realize it would be impossible.
Chorus-
He realizes how truly alone he is. The absence of knowledge in the world is haunting his mind, he doesn't know what the meaning of life is, much less the meaning of HIS life, he doesn't know what comes after life, he doesn't know if what he does while alive will mean anything when he dies. He is hopelessly confused about everything and just wants to be done with everything.
"Harder to breath" means he is having anxiety and has to take slow deep breaths.
He repeats "I'm leaving tonight" in attempts to convince himself that there is no other option and he Must "leave tonight". He repeats it in agony of how dreadful it sounds but still knows it is the best thing for him.
Verse 2-
when he saw the girl from afar, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and while he stood gazing at her in a trance he didn't even realize he was walking toward her, he couldn’t feel his legs moving, and he later remembers it as the sidewalk under his feet started moving in her direction, this also could symbolize that life brought them together and it was inevitable, it was what life had planned for him.
Alternative meaning- He is contemplating suicide and feels the sidewalk underneath him is moving toward suicide, almost like he has no possible other option, and everything in his life has been leading toward his death. The voices wont shut-up telling him he needs to die. He says "wouldn't" because this actually happened, the singer Jesse Rutherford has once attempted shooting himself in the head and survived, He made a post on Tumblr about it and said that If you're going to attempt suicide by gun, put the gun in your mouth, not at your temple, that way you can't survive.
"And I, I figured it all to be love
But this isn't lovely"
The girl he is obsessed with, he figured it was love at first, but then realizes this is far from lovely, this is not about her, this is about him, his sick world view, he is deranged and needs serious help.
Alternative meaning- He thought the world would be a nice place, it wasn't.
First stanza- The situation was broken from the start, but he looked past the brokenness, and thought things could go well.
Bridge- He thought he would be able to chase his dreams but he didn't realize it would be impossible.
Chorus- He realizes how truly alone he is. The absence of knowledge in the world is haunting his mind, he doesn't know what the meaning of life is, much less the meaning of HIS life, he doesn't know what comes after life, he doesn't know if what he does while alive will mean anything when he dies. He is hopelessly confused about everything and just wants to be done with everything. "Harder to breath" means he is having anxiety and has to take slow deep breaths. He repeats "I'm leaving tonight" in attempts to convince himself that there is no other option and he Must "leave tonight". He repeats it in agony of how dreadful it sounds but still knows it is the best thing for him.
Verse 2- when he saw the girl from afar, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and while he stood gazing at her in a trance he didn't even realize he was walking toward her, he couldn’t feel his legs moving, and he later remembers it as the sidewalk under his feet started moving in her direction, this also could symbolize that life brought them together and it was inevitable, it was what life had planned for him.
Alternative meaning- He is contemplating suicide and feels the sidewalk underneath him is moving toward suicide, almost like he has no possible other option, and everything in his life has been leading toward his death. The voices wont shut-up telling him he needs to die. He says "wouldn't" because this actually happened, the singer Jesse Rutherford has once attempted shooting himself in the head and survived, He made a post on Tumblr about it and said that If you're going to attempt suicide by gun, put the gun in your mouth, not at your temple, that way you can't survive.
"And I, I figured it all to be love But this isn't lovely"
The girl he is obsessed with, he figured it was love at first, but then realizes this is far from lovely, this is not about her, this is about him, his sick world view, he is deranged and needs serious help. Alternative meaning- He thought the world would be a nice place, it wasn't.