Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
As I lie tossing in my bed
Lost in my fears remembering what you said
And I try to hide the truth within
The mask of myself shows its face again
Still I lie time and time again
Will you deny me when we meet again?
And I feel like I'm falling
Farther every day
But I know that you're there
Watching over me
And I feel like I'm drowning
The waves crashing over me
But I know that your love
It will set me free
As I find truth where I found it times before
As I search for your hope
I'm finding so much more
And I try to be more like you
And I deny myself to prove my heart is true
I hear your voice calling
The time has come for me
Inside this life I'm living
There's nothing left for me
My mind is slowly fading
So far away from me
Each time I start crawling
You're there watching me
Lost in my fears remembering what you said
And I try to hide the truth within
The mask of myself shows its face again
Still I lie time and time again
Will you deny me when we meet again?
And I feel like I'm falling
Farther every day
But I know that you're there
Watching over me
And I feel like I'm drowning
The waves crashing over me
But I know that your love
It will set me free
As I find truth where I found it times before
As I search for your hope
I'm finding so much more
And I try to be more like you
And I deny myself to prove my heart is true
I hear your voice calling
The time has come for me
Inside this life I'm living
There's nothing left for me
My mind is slowly fading
So far away from me
Each time I start crawling
You're there watching me
Lyrics submitted by 7_myshell_7
Crash Lyrics as written by Anthony Mccoy Eric Weaver
Lyrics © Reservoir Media Management, Inc.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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Responding to azwrath's comment:
I don't think Christians should try to be liked. It's never worked for me. Eventually what you believe will always get in the way between you and the world, and you will be revealed as a true believer ... IF you really are.
As far as the song, it is clearly an invocation to follow Jesus. Anyone who knows the New Testament should understand these things. Seeing the self-seeking part of the world as hollow and temporary, "I deny myself" and "being more like you" ... and above all, "Will you deny me when we meet again," a clear reference to Luke 9:23-27.
Try to apply these words to an everyday situation, for example a romantic relationship, and it is very hard to fit them into place.
How ironic that someone mentioned persecution! The song itself talks about persecution - well, not exactly persecution but ridicule. American Christians are ridiculed far more than they are persecuted. (Hence the line right before "will you deny me," "I try to hide the truth within.")