Disintegration

I have always loved this song and it's a track that has had a lot of plays by me. It is so genius! When I first bought the Disintergration album (and by far, it's probably my most favourite) I couldn't get enough of it. There's something dark, broody and apathetic about this album. I don't think one should write it off as a love song, two people breaking up from a romantic relationship. I can totally relate to this song. Basically, one of my friends cheated with my now ex boyfriend and is now married with a kid. This does bother me of course, but it isn't what annoys me the most. My best friend at the time sided with them and I felt completely betrayed by her, and all my other friends followed suit and sided with them. Her loyalties should have lied with me. Anyway, I moved on. And then last christmas we decided to meet up again and let bygones be bygones. But she hasn't changed, her two-faced ways are still there, I had to let it go.

She always said that we would be friends together forever: "But I never said I would stay to the end."

But I had a sense of realism. I knew we wouldn't. When we met up at Christmas I knew we wouldn't be more than acquaintances.

All my friends just vanished like 'poof', no one seemed to care. The majority sided with them and no one wanted to be seen preferring the outcast even though I was heartbroken, they left me emotionally destitute: "Now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces, I'll pull out my heart and I'll feed it to anyone, Crying for sympathy crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd, And the three cheers from everyone."

There was a lot of 'crocodiles crying', those who were two faced, sycophants who empathised with me at the time but as soon as my back was turned it was 'love of the crowd'.

Disintergration is about acknowledging that nothing will change, when there is nothing left to salvage, the brave thing that should be done is resign. The song is about resignation!

"Stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery, Songs about happiness murmured in dreams, When we both of us knew how the ending would be..."

Too much has gone on in the relationship/friendship, and it cannot be repaired.

"I leave you with photographs pictures of trickery, Stains on the carpet and stains on the memory, Songs about happiness murmured in dreams, When we both of us knew how the end always is..."

I have left my friend with all the photos of us smiling and having fun together, stained on her memory. Not on mine, it was all a facade in hindsight. I was a damn good friend, genuine, honest, relaiable, fun, not a sycophant. The song is basically saying: I leave this with you, I do not need it anymore, these memories. And we can be left to our own lives and wonder about each other once in awhile. And that's all we will ever be.

(I didn't mean to use this as a pity forum, lolz)!