Both as a standalone and as part of the DSOTS album, you can take this lyric as read. As a matter of public record, Jourgensen's drug intake was legendary even in the 1980s. By the late 90s, in his own words, he was grappling with massive addiction issues and had lost almost everything: friends, spouse, money and had nearly died more than once. "Dark Side of the Spoon" is a both funny & sad title for an album made by a musical genius who was losing the plot; and this song is a message to his fans & friends saying he knows it. It's painful to listen to so I'm glad the "Keith Richards of industrial metals" wised up and cleaned up. Well done sir.
Awakened by the sunlight
Victimized by last light
Memories flashing through my head
Was I just born or am I dead?
Yesterday's forgotten, the morning after
I can taste you, I can hear your laughter
Fading in the distance
Recollections drifting
Bloodstains on my tattered clothes
Each minute the fear grows
If I could just lay down to rest
I'm tired of searching for myself
If I am dead, how can I feel such love?
If I am dead, why am I dreaming?
If I am dead, where do I go from here?
If I am dead, why does this pain feel so good?
Is this my blood dried upon my face?
Or is it the love of someone else?
It tastes so sweet, just like you used to
So rescue me my love, splice us together
I remember loving you so much
But where are you and where's your fatal touch?
When I closed my eyes, was it my siesta?
Did I encounter a darkness stronger than sleep?
If I am dead, how can I feel such love?
If I am dead, why am I dreaming?
If I am dead, where do I go from here?
If I am dead, why does this pain feel so good?
I am thirsty for my sleep
There are no answers anyway
Victimized by last light
Memories flashing through my head
Was I just born or am I dead?
Yesterday's forgotten, the morning after
I can taste you, I can hear your laughter
Fading in the distance
Recollections drifting
Bloodstains on my tattered clothes
Each minute the fear grows
If I could just lay down to rest
I'm tired of searching for myself
If I am dead, how can I feel such love?
If I am dead, why am I dreaming?
If I am dead, where do I go from here?
If I am dead, why does this pain feel so good?
Is this my blood dried upon my face?
Or is it the love of someone else?
It tastes so sweet, just like you used to
So rescue me my love, splice us together
I remember loving you so much
But where are you and where's your fatal touch?
When I closed my eyes, was it my siesta?
Did I encounter a darkness stronger than sleep?
If I am dead, how can I feel such love?
If I am dead, why am I dreaming?
If I am dead, where do I go from here?
If I am dead, why does this pain feel so good?
I am thirsty for my sleep
There are no answers anyway
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This song is about a 1987 film called Siesta starring Ellen Barkin
@sueb – I second that. The film title is even mentioned in the lyrics.
I don't know what Patton's meaning of this song, but I'll tell you what it means to me. I think it's about a person who is so jaded that they simply don't care anymore. They are unsure of how they became this way, so they spend the 'morning after' trying to figure it out. What confuses the subject is that they know they are jaded and thick-skinned, but they still are able to love. Seems like the only thing that keeps this person emotionally human is the fact that he/she has loved before, and is capable of loving again.
I've always thought the song was about a woman seduced and raped by her lover ("bloodstains on my tattered clothes"), perhaps by someone she knew or loved ("I remember loving you so much"). That the "memories" and "recollections" are hazy and unclear may signify she was drugged or drunk, or that she's trying to repress the memory, with only partial success. The idea of being drugged is especially strong in "did I encounter a darkness stronger than sleep"; or perhaps he beat her unconscious before or while violating her. Her talk about "is this my blood dried upon my face, or is it the love of someone else" seems to ask whether it was her blood or her lover's; if her lover's, then he raped her. The implication is that it is indeed her lover's ("It tastes so sweet just like you used to") She seems to hope some stranger raped her, as she hopes her love will rescue her. The difficult part is that Patton seems to imply that she secretly or guiltily liked it ("why does this pain feel so good" "how can I feel such love"); perhaps he is being darkly sarcastic.
It could be a song about waking up after dying and not knowing what happened or what to do next, with no clue of what emotions or sensations still apply to you so you don't know if your feelings mean you're still alive or not. Waking up this way, his loved one may have been one of the first things he thought of, not knowing if she is okay or if she was actually the one that murdered him. "Did I encounter a darkness stronger than sleep?"
I always envisioned this scene while listening to this song: the morning after a wild rampage by a recently converted werewolf! Think about it...the tattered clothes, blood, no recollection of the prior night's events...
This song is actually quite the same as 'surprise youre dead' as in its about waking up as a vampire. you could say surprise your dead is the prequel as its sung from the point of view of the biter and this song is from the point of view of the bitten. darkness stronger then sleep being undeath, youre fatal touch etc, was i just born or am i dead being self explanitory. many clues lead to the same conclusion
If you listen to New And Improved Song (Introduce Yourself) the bassline, drums and guitar are almost exactly the same.
The Morning after a killing spree
This song, as many others in the FnM/Tomahawk catalog, is about being a vampire.
I always thought this song was about becoming a vampire