This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Hello? Aw shit, nigga
What the fuck time is it, man?
Oh goddamn, nigga
Do you know what time it is?
Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga)
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)
Please hang up, and try your call again
Please hang up, this is a recording
What the fuck time is it, man?
Oh goddamn, nigga
Do you know what time it is?
Aw shit, what the fuck's goin' on? You aight?
Nigga, what the fuck is wrong with you?
When I die, fuck it, I wanna go to hell
'Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven with the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Timbs and black hoodies
God'll prob'ly have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin' my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies, loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice (You talkin' some crazy shit now, nigga)
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger (Get a hold of yourself, nigga)
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder, if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My baby mother's eight months, her little sister's two
Who's to blame for both of them? (Nah, nigga, not you)
I swear to God I want to just slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit (Nigga, what the fuck?)
And squeeze until the bed's completely red (It's too late for this shit, man)
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddha head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't, I can't believe (Yo, I'm on my way over there, man)
Suicide's on my fuckin' mind, I wanna leave
I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
But nah, you wouldn't understand (Nigga, talk to me please, man)
You see it's kinda like the crack did to Pookie in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back (Yo, I'ma call you when I get in the car)
Should I die on the train track like Ramo in Beat Street?
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me (Ayo, where your girl at, man?)
My baby mama kiss me, but she glad I'm gone (Yo, put your girl on the phone, nigga)
She know me and her sister had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak (Ayo, you listenin' to me, motherfucker?)
Call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak (Ayo, c'mon, nigga)
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin'
Matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'
(Ayo, Big, ayo, Big)
Please hang up, and try your call again
Please hang up, this is a recording
Lyrics submitted by spliphstar
Suicidal Thoughts Lyrics as written by Robert Hall Christopher Wallace
Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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