Runaway Train

Sad factoid that I just read at Wikipedia: while the video found a lot of children in a number of countries, many of the outcomes often weren't good. Some runaways were returned to abusive or otherwise unhealthy home situations, several were eventually found after being killed. I wish the video made it clearer that MOST kidnappers, just like most child-molesters/killers, are closely related or a friend of the family.

I think that most parents & then-teens in my area that saw the video back in the day were uncomfortably reminded of two horrible tragedies that happened not long before hand. First there was 3 little sisters that were found at the city dumps with their throats slashed by their own father, and months of everyone wondering how the critically injured survivor would do... Then, not long before the video, Polly Klaas was kidnapped from her own 13th birthday party sleepover -- it seemed to take forever before they finally discovered she'd been murdered. Even though I didn't know any of the girls and was in my mid-teens, I remember crying at the video, having learned what really happened to most "missing" kids.

Anyway... The songwriter/singer has said bluntly that it's not about missing kids -- it IS about severe depression, evidently in his case after a loved one died suddenly.

I don't think that it has to involve drugs, either. I've had major depressive disorder before, and when it's bad enough, illegal drugs aren't needed to have the feelings he describes. People with depression do all kinds of things on an obsessive scale to escape -- having s*x with anyone willing, playing video games all day, sleeping too much, etc. -- and at some point they do know that it's "insane" to the point of self-destructive, but the pain is so intense that it's the only way to avoid suicide. They can also become almost manic with energy or rage, and it causes an electric, vibrating sensation that really is kind of like "fire in my veins".

But every time they come back out of the obsession or fake-manic state, they find the depression & all of the things it has made them hate about their life "always stays the same". They start to see that it's getting harder and harder to actually escape it -- and that their behavior has been "tearing up the tracks" to return to their old life, just as the depression itself has done to their personality. They'll try to rely on a loved one, but then be too easily hurt/angered by everything, so the person seems like a blowtorch rather than either the lock-opener or candle lighting the darkness.

I could go on, but won't. ;) I'll just share, to end on an upbeat note, that this song helps me focus when working on a few urban fantasy novellas I've been writing for ages, as it captures the secret feelings the protagonists 'inherited' from my years as an avoidant, neglected/mistreated non-angsty teenager. Strange how a sad song or tale can bring joy to a person...