Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

i think she might be referring to a marriage that wasn't all she envisioned it to be (i will raise the children if you pay the bills... i guess that's all her husband's good for?) . she's wondering where all the chivilaric - and quite fictitious - cowboys have gone, as she wants to be swept off her feet by one.

Just to organize the ideas above: This woman met a man who at first seemed to be able to fulfill her dreams and be a "cowboy" in some heroic vision she once held. He actually turned out to be a blue-color nobody who neglects her. And so she wonders where that cowboy of her dreams is.

This song has the illusions of traditional marriage down pat, I think. Brought down by the division of labor, the day-to-day routine, etc.

That said, I have to admit the chorus of the song drives me crazy. Especially the last part.

Where is my Marlboro Man Where is his shiny gun Where is my lonely ranger Where have all the cowboys gone?

Is she being ironic? She's saying she WANTS a cowboy?

What do we value about cowboys? Their self-sufficiency, their adventurous, independent spirit, their traditional manly-man ways, right? Womenfolk are rather background fixtures in their world, aren't they? If we figure into it at all.

Seems like she's already got that with the situation at hand - that's why I wonder if there's supposed to be some irony here.

I agree with what a lot of reviewers have said, but I also see this song as a protest or warning about the marriage fantasies girls are raised with. We are given these images that marriage is going to be a lifelong Harlequin Romance, fulfilling every need or wish we have. But girls who believe this will end up like the woman in the song, progressively more lonely and alienated from their mate and desperately sad at heart while their fantasy crumbles around them.

I really wish, though, that Paula Cole had done a bookend song that explores the opposite ending: what happens when people marry wisely and learn to take each other for who they are, love each other for who they are, treat each other well, and find that their "ordinary" lives can be very fulfilling indeed.

I think the song represents several themes.

1. Women's unrealistic and romanticized view of the perfect man. As another reviewer says, she wants a manly man like John Wayne, but instead, she's got a manly man more like Homer Simpson.
2. Those manly men types, so attractive when they were both young, tend to devolve into uncommunicative alcoholics who don't hear their woman's grievances - partly because she gave up complaining years earlier when she realized he wasn't listening. That's why she says "Goodbye" when he doesn't see her new dress. She's leaving & he hasn't a clue.
3. She, like most women, doesn't seem know that there is another kind of man. Not a flashy jock stud in high school, instead perhaps a generous and loving academic type who learned to respect and appreciate people regarldess of gender - a responsible and emotional guy that parents and teachers admire, but girls regard as, well, boring.
4. As one reviewer suggests, such guys are probably gay (he says especially if they like this song). But he is an example of the homer simpson manliness. That is, you must always be proving your manliness, and one way to rack up manly points, is to accuse others of being gay. Such "enforcers of manliness" must work hard to prove their own manliness standing at the expense of others. They are bullies who can't spell empathy, and the girls stand in line for these insecure manchilds who must constantly be proving they are not gay. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, but why do they protest so much? And the girls who marry them should be able to consider this song their anthem in just a few years.
5. You could say it's women's fault then that us men are so f'ed up. But both men and women have drunk the "assholes are manly" kool-aid. That 's why it is so hard for men to break out of this miserable lifestyle. Because by the time the girls and boys figure out that being an asshole isn't fun, it's not fun to be around, but by then they just figure that THEIR cowboy turned out to be a bum. And he's hanging out at the bar every night with a bunch of assholes who reinforce each other by mocking everyone else.

So THAT's what the song is about. She thinks that her husband and his friends are all extremely unpleasant to be around, especially compared to the romanticized "real men" that Hollywood offers.

She moves from the naive romantic, to accepting their limiting roles, and compromising to trade love for security. "I'll do the laundry AND raise the children if you'll pay the rent." God knows her manly guy won't do either of those.

So she's unhappy, and she'll leave, and he'll think good riddance for awhile, till he realizes he's lost a darn good cook and housekeeper. But she won't come back. She knows he will never act like the "honorable man" she now realizes would be a much better companion. So they'll both go down to the bar and get another one. Because few of us have figured out that the tough uncommunicative types act like assholes eventually; and the loving respectful men will treat them with love and respect. But her ex and friends and family will work hard to keep her from marrying "a fag."

She'll have plenty of time to thank them while her new old man is down at the bar proving his manliness by not being pussy-whipped into being home with his family.

And she resigns herself to sing the lament that all the good cowboys are gone.

Sorry for the cynicism.

Remember, lovers deserve each other.

If you've read this far, I guess you deserve to have a hint about what she, and he, could have done.

She needs to break out of the passive subservient role, and he needs to learn to be loving -- difficult to impossible without emotionality. Thus, we men must learn how to be emotional. Then sensitivity, respect, empathy, caring for oneself, and caring for others will make possible loving and joyous relationships.

Wow, that's a lot of meaning to get from an old ballad.

"i will wash the dishes, while you go have a beeeeeeeeerrrrr." LOVE the sarcasm in this one. it's well done!

she just wishes it was back to the way it was, when men respected women and chivalry was not dead... a simpler time

Where is my John Wayne? ^every girl wants a John Wayne ;)

"I am wearing my new dress tonight But you don't, but you don't even notice me (Say our goodbyes...)''

These fantasies some were raised with are just that....

This track was on the "this fire" album which was released in 1996.

I think this is a prominent reminder of how modern feminism has failed women, and society as a whole.

The technological progression of society and the dissolution of traditional values/roles has led many into a state of anomie, where we no longer feel a state of "belonging" both in terms of our own identity, and how we relate to others through relationships and ultimately marriage.

Her song (also on this album) titled "Me" also demonstrates a sense of self imposed isolation and the act of not understanding (and owning) ones identity. These subtle undertones run through all of our lives.

T

Feminism killed the cowboy starting in the Roaring 20s, but we were subverted before that (1871). A generational plan to reduce the number of American patriots to make us ripe for a later invasion. Guess it's here now. Some call it genocide.