In regards to the meaning of this song:
Before a live performance on the EP Five Stories Falling, Geoff states “It’s about the last time I went to visit my grandmother in Columbus, and I saw that she was dying and it was the last time I was going to see her. It is about realizing how young you are, but how quickly you can go.”
That’s the thing about Geoff and his sublime poetry, you think it’s about one thing, but really it’s about something entirely different. But the lyrics are still universal and omnipresent, ubiquitous, even. So relatable. That’s one thing I love about this band. I also love their live performances, raw energy and Geoff’s beautiful, imperfectly perfect vocals. His voice soothes my aching soul.
La, la, la-la-la
La, la, la-la-la
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse
I know she's playin' with me
That's okay 'cause I got no self esteem
Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait 'til two, then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up, I just might tell her so
Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
Now I'll relate this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But it's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem
Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
La, la, la-la-la
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
But she came over, I lost my nerve
I took her back and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
That's okay, man, 'cause I like the abuse
I know she's playin' with me
That's okay 'cause I got no self esteem
Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
We make plans to go out at night
I wait 'til two, then I turn out the light
This rejection's got me so low
If she keeps it up, I just might tell her so
Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
Now I'll relate this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and looking to score
Now I know I should say no
But it's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem
Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, yeah
When she's saying, oh, that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh, that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well, I guess I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah
Lyrics submitted by spitfirek7, edited by bestman12349
Self Esteem Lyrics as written by Bryan Keith Holland
Lyrics © ROUND HILL CARLIN, LLC
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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I'm tired of everyone saying things like "He's doing it to himself" and "He should just leave her" and "He likes the abuse" and "He's using her for sex". Obviously he enjoys the sex, but that's not why he's with her. He's in love with her and feels like the only way she'll stay around is if he gives in. He's miserable with her but he's even more miserable without her. And he doesn't like the abuse, he just accepts it because he feels like it's better than nothing. That's what it's like when you have no self esteem. The most important line in this song is "Well I guess I should stick up for myself But I really think it's better this way" because for some people, being abused truly is better than being away from someone you love.
@BigE254 Sir, unless you are independently wealthy, could you please do man-kind a favour, and immediatly start training to become a professional psychologist?<br /> <br /> You are so correct - this month I am 20 years without the girl I was supposed to marry, and last night I drempt of her again (I hate that). So even though you know they are bad for you, and your state of mind, the heart never forgets. You just deal with it, hoping one day they will see 'sense', and change their ways.<br /> <br /> Now THAT is true love.
@BigE254 Hey it's Dexter Holland AKA. lead singer of the offspring and you nailed it! That is what I was going for in the song
@BigE254 Yeah, you nailed it. I understood it instantly. He knows he's being used, he is fully aware, but he loves her and thinks he deserves it, and would rather deal with the abuse than to fully lose her. I envy those who do not relate to that interpretation of this song - it makes all too much sense to me.
I have to disagree. I don't think it's about how girls use guys. I think it's about how people use eachother. Have to admit it, both girls and guys do it. This song happens to be about a specific girl, but if you look deeper, then it can be related to everyone.
Not exactly an abstruse message here. As others have said, the dude loves the girl, but she treats him like a piece of meat (salami? hot dog?) to be used--and thrown away--at her own convenience. He puts up with the abuse because, well, he has low self-esteem, feels powerless, and wants her around at any cost. And besides, the sexytime (to extend the meat-metaphor: a hot dog slapping a folded-up bologna?) does seem to be enjoyable for him.
Back in high school, in the 90s, I used to jam this song all the time. I could relate to it, because I, too, had low self-esteem. This song was extra depressing for me, though, because I was actually jealous of the guy in the song. I'd think, "Well, at least you HAVE a girlfriend of some sort!" (at that point in life, I hadn't even hugged a girl yet). Later in high school, I did get a few girlfriends, and I'm happily married now. But man, I'll never forget those dreary afternoons lying on the bed in my room, staring sullenly at the ceiling, with this song spinning on repeat in my Sony Discman as I held back tears of hopelessness, social ineptitude, self-hatred, and unrequited teenage libido.
Man, the first couple years of high school sucked. Glad that shit's over forever.
@woollyworm
@woollyworm yo man I get you completely, I mean I had sex for the first time in highschool with a girl, she told me I ruined her life even though I treated her like the most priceless thing on earth then she just threw me away like a used condom
The song isn't about girls and guys, it's about low self esteem. The guy stays in the relationship even though it's abusive because it's the only thing that tells him he is wanted. He only finds self worth through the relationship, and let's himself be abused because without it he sees himself as nothing. He doesn't think he deserves any better. He's trapped in an abusive relationship because in his mind he can't afford to kill it.
@Ganondox This was our unofficial motto at the US Army facility I was stationed with for about 12 months.<br />
I can tell you exactly what this song is about, because the same thing happened to me. The girl was taking zadvantage of the guy, the guy wanted to dump her but his self esteem was causing him to stay with her. He would dump her, she would drive her nuts so he'd take her back, being miserable once again. Basically it is one big cycle.
Reminds me of what my ex does to me now. and i never learn, but it is because i have low self esteem... fuck.
This song shows that some girls take advantage of guys with no self-esteem. I'm a guy and I hate girls that are puppet masters. I remember that there were girls in middle school who tried to use me for stuff because I was smart but I didn't praise myself. I still don't, but I sure don't let girls take advantage of me. And if any girl out there thinks thinks this song is funny, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY? I pray shame on your heads! ALL OF YOU! The Offspring rock!
Its all the shit girls can get away with,... It shows girls also treat sometimes treat guys like dirt,.... Not just the other way around
Both sexes can get away with this shit, everyone knows that. It's not exclusive. Get off your fucking high horse.
Fooly Cooly, anyone? Anyone here who's seen FLCL...this reminds me of poor Naota so much with all the women in his life X3
Yeah. I'm a sucker for girls like this, though. It happens. It shouldn't, but it does, and The Offspring captures the mood perfectly
Especially with the denial aspect of it. "But I really think it's better this way. The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?"