i had that same dream again, i dreamed i was an old man dyin' and tryin' to repent - and facing consequences for all the shit - i've put up with. but now i've run out of steam - a broken backed nostalgiac - no chance left to redeem - i'm longing for my heyday give me a change, to live again if only i were eighteen again i would spend all my time tryin' to remember when.... was i that much happier then? if only i were eighteen again.... and now i'm older it seems, well, at least while i sleep, deep within my anxiety dreams. i comb my hair on over, put my teeth in and give a grin. i recollect and reflect, loves lost at too much cost' my conscience full of regret - and if i wake up i hope this better be a better day the real truth of youth is - innocence is a blessed and a cursed simulcast. the simple fact is that i'm sick of every song that dwells on the past. but still i go on writing - how long can my discontentment last? when i wake from my dream, reality kicks in and i grinned just wonderin' what it means - the whole world screams "grow up" and i know i can, but i don't know when!