I said I'm crazy one more time
Picked up the phone and wondered why
So many years of hidden dreams
Pushed down too far to ever win

Locked doors
And hidden ghosts
Denied myself with every joke
This was not me
This could never be me

Remembering so many times
So many lies so many lies
Ran so fast the years passed blind
So much time lost killing five

Locked doors
And hidden ghosts
Denied myself with every joke
This is not me
This could never be me

Whatever poison you may drink
Another list of "no's" persist
Antique and out of reach
I lose my life and take it back
Crashed this side of happiness
Hit the floor or hit and miss
Without the strength to follow through
Walked right past this life in you

Just one more kiss
Just one more chance
Just one more life
Of circumstance
Just one more call
Taking a chance
On circumstance


Lyrics submitted by jt

Across Five Years Lyrics as written by Joshua Latshaw Charles W. Istvan

Lyrics © Reservoir Media Management, Inc.

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Across Five Years song meanings
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    General Comment

    I agree njbmx. It sounds like he denied his sexuality to himself and others for year. He had "years of hidden dreams" that he "pushed down." When he sings, "denied myself with every joke," it sounds like he tried to fit into an anti-gay stereotype (and made many gay jokes) to further distance and hide his sexuality. "Locked doors and hidden ghosts" sounds like a metaphorical refference to being closetted. He feels that he wasted a part of his life pretending he was someone he is not (someone that "could never be me"): "so much time lost killing five." After that, I'm lost. When he sings "whatever poison you may drink," could he be refering to drugs? Maybe he turned to drugs to distract himself from the lie he was living. I have no idea how the rest of the song fits into my little theory. It seems to be about a relationship he once had, as a few of y'all said already. Was that relationship prior to coming out, after? Indeed, he seems to want a second chance. Did he wish he could rekindle a relationship he had with a gay man before he was ready to face his sexuality? Does he wish that the 'circumstances' during the time they knew each other was different?

    Totoroon March 06, 2003   Link

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