Agnostic Preacher's Lament

Oh, Heavenly Father
If you are up there (and I hope you are)
I come to you this morning with a bit of a situation
You see I've made some pretty bold claims about our relationship
And now I have I guess what you could call a congregation
Now, I don't even know if you exist
And, if you don't, that's your business
Still, if you could just hear me out on this
I promised a lot of people I would be appealing to you on their behalf
And now I am not even sure what to say
One thing I know for sure is that everybody here wants there to be a heaven
Or, like, an after thing
And don't kill the messenger here
But everybody is also really hoping for the after thing to be better than this thing
And it's not because we don't love this thing
We could live here forever (which I'll get to later)
But first we'd like an "after" and we'd like it to be better
Also, there are people here that none of us can get along with
And we don't want them at the after thing
Someone even suggested that they should have an after thing that's worse! (laughs)
Mainly, though, everybody just wants to succeed at everything they try
Live forever and never die
That's it in a nutshell, really
Succeed at everything we try
Live forever and never die
That's the thing that everyone agrees on
Succeed at everything they try
Live forever and never die
On that we are unanimous
Succeed at everything we try
Live forever and never die
And if that's too much to ask, heaven will be fine
Oh, and also, I took a ton of money from these people
And they are starting to ask questions
So, you know, forgive me or whatever