Growing Pains

I wake up in the morning in the arms of my whole world
I know that I should tell him I love him so it hurts
But I still sing of heartbreak when we are doing great
That's another time when it's me just being fake
A conversation with my sister, a highlight of our day
I should tell her that more often, I don't know why I wait
'Cause right before you know it, it might go away
So why don't I just say it before it's too late?
My father gave me music but had a wandering eye
I know my mother knew it, but stayed there by his side
So everyone would think, 'What a perfect family'
That's another thing that I know we'll never be
I've always had this feeling, this fear of missing out
So I still go to parties with people I don't like
I know I should go home but I'm staying every time
Yeah, that's another way how I waste another night
You're supposed to be a grown up when you are thirty two
So I just keep pretending 'cause I don't have a clue
Keep smiling like I'm happy but never been this blue
Yeah, that's another thing that we're all supposed to do
When I'm looking at my grandma, she's all I wanna be
She doesn't have that darkness that lives inside of me
But then she never dared to do all the things she dreamed
But in another life, oh I wonder who she'd be
When you become a mother, it's so hard to explain
You love someone so much, you forget to love yourself
You question the decision but let nobody know
But when I hold her in my arms, I know I'm right where I belong
I know my biggest fear is being right there at the end
Just wishing for a chance I could do it all again
But there's still time for living now while I'm still alive
So that's the only thing I will do before I die