Maison des Lunes

[Gaston]
When a man like me is thwarted
And denied his honeymoon
[Lefou]
When the pretty thing he's courted
Refuses to swoon
[Gaston]
Then the time has come for a murky plan
[Lefou]
For which he turns to a murky man
[All]
To find that fiend where better than
At the Maison des Lunes?
[Gaston]
You'll be strapping up an inmate
[Lefou]
Very tightly
[Gaston]
Very soon
But we won't bring him in late
[Lefou]
Your check-in time's noon
[D'Arque]
How sad Maurice is not too well
[Gaston]
Prepare a five-star padded cell!
[All]
And book him in for a long, long spell
At the Maison des Lunes
[Gaston]
Do I make myself entirely clear?
[Lefou]
It's the simplest deal of your whole foul career
[Gaston]
Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments
[Lefou]
In a dreadful state
[Gaston]
She'll capitulate to me
[D'Arque]
Oh! Oh! Oh, I love incarceration
I could lock up a platoon
[Gaston]
We'll apply your inclination
To a mad old buffon
[Gaston & Lefou]
Then wave one bachelor goodbye
[Gaston]
She'll be my bride
[Lefou]
She'd rather die
Than have her daddy ossify
[D'Arque]
The time's opportune
[All]
So book the church, raise glasses high
To the Maison des Lunes!