The Grudge

I have nightmares each week about that friday in May
One phonecall from you and my entire world was changed
Trust that you betrayed
Confusion that still lingers
Took everything I loved and crushed it in-between your fingers
And I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did
But I hold onto every detail like my life depends on it
My undying love now I hold it like a grudge
And I hear your voice everytime that I think I'm not enough
And I try to be tough but I wanna scream
How could anybody do the things you did so easily?
And I say I don't care, I say that fine
But you know I can't let it go,
I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long
It takes strength to forgive but I don't feel strong
The arguments that I have won against you in my head
In the shower, in the car and in the mirror before bed
Yeah, I'm so tough when I'm alone
And I make you feel so guilty
And I fantasize about a time you're a little fuckin' sorry
And I try to understand why you would do this all to me
You must be insecure, you must be so unhappy
And I know in my heart,
Hurt people hurt people
And we both drew blood,
But man those cuts were never equal
And I try to be tough, but I wanna scream
How could anybody do the things you did so easily?
And I say I don't care, I say that I'm fine
But you know I can't let it go
I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long
It takes strength to forgive ,but I don't feel strong
Ooh
Do you think I deserved it all?
Ooh
Your flowers filled with vitriol?
You build me up to watch me fall
You have everything and you still want more
I try to be tough, try to be mean,
But even after all, this you're still everything to me
And I know you don't care
I guess that that's fine
But you know I can't let it go
I've tried, I've tried, I've tried for so long
It takes strength to forgive, but
I'm not quite sure I'm there yet
It takes strength to forgive, but