If It's Not God

Be pretty and don't make it look like you're trying
Told to be Esther, when I felt like Goliath
When they were wrong, I could never keep quiet
I'd search for the truth and had faith that I'd find it
Set myself on fire
Let myself be the liar
All the Sundays, I worried I'd disappoint my mom
'Cause I never understood some types of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What Father picks a few, just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, it disagreed
So if it wasn't God, well thank God it was me
Thank God, it was me
They called me a sinner when I was a saint
Hiding in her bedroom praying depression away
Killing herself for eternal life
And losing her interest to be a good wife
Set myself on fire
I let them call me the liar
All the Sundays, I worried I'd disappoint my mom
'Cause I never understood some types of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
What Father picks a few, just to leave the rest?
I heard a voice inside my head, it disagreed
So if it wasn't God, if that wasn't God, it was me
Thank God, it was me
Me
Thank God it was me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
If it was God, then I don't have to worry
We'll know why I left, why I ran in a hurry
So either way I choose, I'm not wasting my life
'Cause the voice in my head has always been right
All the Sundays, I worried I'd disappoint my mom
'Cause I never understood a type of love being wrong
Something inside me was always steering left
No Father picks a few just to leave the rest