Sordid Tales from the Ffucke Masticke Room

Under the Greenwood tree
Sits one much more unlikely than me
And great are the lies that are told
And strange are the tales that unfold
And there's beauty beyond belief
And nicotine stains on her teeth
Now she combed her hair but once a year
And watered her strawberries every day
Her eyes were red and her mind was clear
And nobody knew she was there
Slipping into my stride
(Where the enamel is chipped and stained)
I was carried away on the tide
(Never not ever again)
To the strange and adventurous shores
(Will you darken this perfect day)
Now the creaking and groaning of oars
(Now the king has crossed the sea)
Lifts me out of my reverent daze
(That was the last we heard)
As out over the water I gaze
(Of Ranulf or Richard the Third)
And I'm crawling upon the beach
(Tell me why, so pale and wan)
As the reverend starts to preach
(Where exactly and why has he gone)
Now she combed her hair but once a year
And watered her strawberries every day
Her eyes were red and her mind was clear
And nobody knew she was there
There, there
You'd better start saying your prayers
(Better start saying your prayers)
You'd better, yes, you'd better take care
Comb the scarlet dye through your rat tailed
Hare today, gone tomorrow I swear
You'd better start saying your prayers
(You're better off paying full fare)
I am innocent and naive
I am dazed beyond belief
By this huge and hostile land
I can't see beyond the trees along the edge of the sand
I didn't know what to do
I didn't have much of a clue
Although I was down on my luck
Well, I couldn't have given a sou
Now she combed her hair but once a year
And watered her strawberries every day
Her eyes were red and her mind was clear
And nobody knew she was there
[x3]