Fat Funny Friend

I break the ice
So they don't see my size
And I have to be nice
Or I'll be the next punchline
I'm just the best friend in Hollywood movies
Who only exists to continue the story
A girl gets the guy while I'm standing offscreen
So I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief
Can't be too loud
Can't be too busy
If I don't answer now
Are they still gonna need me?
Can't be too proud
Can't think I'm pretty
Do they keep me around,
So their flaws just seem silly?
I say I'm okay
'Cause they wouldn't care anyway
And I could try to explain
But my efforts in vain, they can't relate
To how I've drawn out in sharpie where I'd take the scissors
If that's what it took for me to look in the mirror
I've done every diet to make me look thinner
So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior?
Can't be too loud
And can't be too busy
If I don't answer now
Are they still gonna need me?
Can't be too proud
And can't think I'm pretty
Do they keep me around,
So their flaws just seem silly?
Life of the fat funny friend
Life of the fat funny friend
It's funny when I think a guy likes me
And it's funny when I'm the one who says 'let's go to eat'
It's funny when I'm asked to go out on Halloween
Dresses and thigh-highs while I hide my body
Can't be too loud
And can't be too busy
If I don't answer now
Are they still gonna need me?
Can't be too loud
And can't be too busy
If I don't answer now
Are they still gonna need me?
Can't be too proud
And can't think I'm pretty
Do they keep me around,
So their flaws just seem silly?
Life of the fat funny friend
Life of the fat funny friend
Life of the fat funny friend
Life of the fat funny friend
I've drawn out in sharpie where I'd take the scissors