Worship What I Hate

I keep looking at myself in the mirror, hoping it will change
And I keep wishing for a brand new body that I didn't have to blame
I'm seeing every flaw like a failure
I'm using every cure like a saviour
Like trying to build a church out of all my hurt when it really needs grace
I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was, not who I'm becoming
My fears, they took up space
My eyes couldn't look away
I didn't even realise I worshipped what I hate
Half a bottle of red just before bed is the only way I dream
Before I really wake up, the first thing I touch is a button on a screen
I'm not guilty of leaving, not sticking around
I'm guilty of staying and just checking out
Yeah, I kept my head down and really missed out on what's in front of me
'Cause I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was, not who I'm becoming
My fears, they took up space
My eyes couldn't look away
I didn't even realise I worshipped what I hate
Why do the lies feel like the truth?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why do I fight so hard to keep my heart empty?
'Cause I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was, not who I'm becoming
My fears, they took up space
My eyes couldn't look away
I didn't even realise I worshipped what I hate
I didn't even realise (realise)
I didn't even realise (realise)
I didn't even realise I worshipped what I hate
I didn't even realise I worshipped what I hate
Didn't even realise, no
Didn't even realise, didn't know