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She keeps on calling me
I keep hanging up
It's not that I don't want to talk
I just fear listening
As a child it worried me
That all the ones I loved would one day die
I still recall when I realized
I couldn't save them no matter how I tried
I couldn't wait to be a man
The grown-ups seemed to handle life just fine
But here I am
Still terrified
See, growing up will just teach you how to smile
I followed you from the sun in my childhood
I followed you through the river to the sea
I followed you where the waves turn to wasteland
I followed you
Now they follow me
As a child I felt too old
And now when I'm grown up I feel too young
A different kind so I've been told
Just slightly out of reach and out of time
I count the years to understand
The faces of the friends I used to know
I close my eyes and they're still the same
How to mourn the living
that are still around
Yet somehow gone
I followed you from the sun in my childhood
I followed you through the river to the sea
I followed you where the roads turn to wasteland
I followed you
Now they follow me
Yes
I followed you and the spring turned to summer
I followed you and the river turned to sea
I followed you now the roads dress for winter
I followed you
Now they follow me
I'm on my way now
I'm on my way now
I'm mostly doing fine
They rarely see me cry
But you are always on my mind
I'll live another night, I'll walk another mile
But you are always on my mind
I'm mostly doing fine
They rarely see me cry
But you are always on my mind
I'll live another night, I'll walk another mile
Still you are always on my mind
She keeps on calling me
She keeps on calling calling calling calling
She keeps on calling me
She keeps on calling calling calling calling
I'm on my way now
I'm on my way now
She keeps on calling me
I'm on my way now
She keeps on calling calling calling calling
I keep hanging up
I keep hanging up
I keep hanging up
I keep hanging up
It's not that I don't want to talk
I just fear listening
That all the ones I loved would one day die
I still recall when I realized
I couldn't save them no matter how I tried
The grown-ups seemed to handle life just fine
But here I am
Still terrified
See, growing up will just teach you how to smile
I followed you through the river to the sea
I followed you where the waves turn to wasteland
I followed you
Now they follow me
And now when I'm grown up I feel too young
A different kind so I've been told
Just slightly out of reach and out of time
The faces of the friends I used to know
I close my eyes and they're still the same
How to mourn the living
that are still around
Yet somehow gone
I followed you through the river to the sea
I followed you where the roads turn to wasteland
I followed you
Now they follow me
I followed you and the spring turned to summer
I followed you and the river turned to sea
I followed you now the roads dress for winter
I followed you
Now they follow me
I'm on my way now
They rarely see me cry
But you are always on my mind
I'll live another night, I'll walk another mile
But you are always on my mind
They rarely see me cry
But you are always on my mind
I'll live another night, I'll walk another mile
Still you are always on my mind
She keeps on calling calling calling calling
She keeps on calling me
She keeps on calling calling calling calling
I'm on my way now
I'm on my way now
She keeps on calling calling calling calling
I keep hanging up
I keep hanging up
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I feel that this song is about being afraid to grow older. Not old necessarily, just older. Always seeing new faces become old friends become forgotten contacts, always seeing the things you love eventually end, to be replaced by new things in some level of continuity until the inevitable final time. This song also makes me feel that he fears some certain aspect of growing up (Genius.com commenter mentions a consensus that people believe he is afraid to become a father; Gildenlow has three children in real life so this song might be about a younger time in his life)
@2006200720082009 I think you nailed it with "always seeing the things you love eventually end, to be replaced by new things in some level of continuity until the inevitable final time."
@2006200720082009 I think you nailed it with "always seeing the things you love eventually end, to be replaced by new things in some level of continuity until the inevitable final time."
She keeps on calling me I keep hanging up It's not that I don't want to talk I just fear listening
The minute these lyrics sunk in, it brought me right back to a phone call I received from a friend that I hadn't heard from in a long time. Before I even heard his voice, my mouth had already gone dry and I felt sick; like somehow I knew it wasn't going to be good news. Turned out not to be quite as tragic as I had expected, but nonetheless the news wasn't good. I feared listening. I didn't hang up, but I considered not answering.
When I relate a personal experience to a piece of music or a lyric, it is pretty profound. It lets me know I'm never really alone in any experience, and that is a gift. Thank you Daniel Gildenlöw 🥲