Army

Nothing feels the same since you got home
Someone swapped the pictures on your wall
Photos of evaporated men
Torn up bodies thrown across the sand
There's nothing worse than losing your arm
She's been really great since I got back
I'm afraid she knows I'm off the map
She's been trying to talk inside my mouth
I've been trying to calm my conscious down
There's nothing worse than losing your spine
When I dream, I see your dad holding your throat
His face up to your ear, he's screaming, "I've been shot"
You bank on linear life, evolved by your command
You'll find the painful prize of watching it unhinge
You, you took it harder than our friends
I'm afraid you're spiraling again
Ran into your family at The Goat
Looked like they'd been living with a ghost
There's nothing worse than poverty lines
I can hardly look at her that way
Naked bodies haven't looked the same
I can't tell her why she's gotta stop
Too ashamed to open that one up
There's worse than being intertwined
You've been dreaming I'm the dad you never had
Having out-of-body visions of my death
Bank on a catered life that bends for your demands
Expect the painful prize of watching it unhinge
I remember back when we were kids
Laugh without a paralyzing lid
Now we get together in a glass
Hardly speak to watch the silence pass
There's nothing worse than silent alarms
We were trying awkwardly to sleep
Detailed out your plan on my machine
I laid still astounded in the dark
Shocked that it had finally fallen apart
There's nothing worse than losing your mind
I've been dreaming of this unrelenting love
Depreciated gasping towards a new unknown
It was a trusted ride before the water froze
I found the painful prize is rowing it alone
Drove out to the desert in your van
Drank some gasoline and made love to your hand
Cursed your god below for what he'd done
Before you sucked a bullet from your father's gun
There's nothing worse than losing your life
At your funeral, she took my hand
Placed it on the baby in her lap
I've been trying my best to find my peace
But they both look like criminals to me
There's nothing worse than trusting a lie
When I dream, I see your body inside hers
When I wake, I see your face and call it ours
The less you care for it, the less it has to grow
I can't abandon it and watch it turn to smoke
Recently I'm working on myself
Starting to convince myself it helps
There's nothing wrong with being alive