Sundials

There's nothing harder to say
Than that prayer we scripted and stored away
It must've told me to stay
But I was sprinting for some day
So I'm falling victim to something
I didn't believe in after all this time
And I said: I don't want your fury
But I don't want this fear that's pinning me here
'cause I've heard suffering is easy
As long as you're still free
So where does that leave me?
There's nothing deeper than doubt
And mine was fighting to make a sound
You must've wrestled it out
But you swore that you didn't know how
So I'm compromising to something
I couldn't believe in, even though I've tried
And I said: I don't want your fury
But I don't want this fear that's pinning me here
'cause I've heard suffering is easy
As long as you're still free
So where does that leave me?
I've been staring up at the sun
Hoping for an answer to come
I've been staring up at the sun
Looking for a reason to run
Thought every fire was a signal to me
Lighting the way to what I wanted to be
But I was sinning for the opposite team
Wondering if I could outlive my belief
And I said: I don't want your fury
But I don't want this fear that's pinning me here
'cause I've heard suffering is easy
As long as you're still free
So where does that leave me?