You Can Dress 'Em Up (But You Can't Take 'Em Out)

Well, they won't comb their hair, and it won't make a dent
Buy 'em new clothes, it might make 'em dead
You take 'em to church all they do is squirm
Well, you take 'em fishin' and they eat the worm
My mama knew when she was talkin' about
You can dress 'em up but you can't take them out
Got one pair of pants, and that's no lie
Been wearin' that shirt since 1965
Take the Queen of England for ribs in a truck
Don't know Sears or Roebuck
My mama knew when she was talkin' about
You can dress 'em up but you can't take 'em out
Fartin' in restaurants, burpin' in the movies
Ain't took a bath since people said "Groovy"
Lord have mercy, what will the neighbors say
Even the dog says they stink
If you do, if you do, if you do take 'em out
All they do is scream, all they do is shout
Best to leave 'em at home in the front yard
Wearin' down their hair, suckin' up lard
Buy 'em flea collars and books on etiquette
You'd have better luck tryin' to cash a million-dollar check
Well, it ain't no use, the cast is die
And the thing on his head once said "Hi"
My mama knew when she was talkin' about
You can dress 'em up but you can't take 'em out
You know, you just can't take 'em out anywhere
They won't behave
Don't act right
Act like a bunch of hoodlums
They're wearin' that shirt that's got mold growin' around the armpits and stuff
They just don't know nice people when they meet 'em, lemme tell ya
Well, my mama knew when she was talkin' about
You can dress 'em up but you can't take 'em out
You can dress 'em up but you can't take 'em out