Dive

Whenever I listen to this song I am reminded of the first time I fell in love with a girl. I had known for some time that I was into girls but actually being in love was so much scarier than that.

Tell her something (Tell her something) Tell her nothing (Tell her nothing)

I was terrified of the idea of telling her about my feelings. On the other hand of course I wanted her to know. I wanted to know how she felt about me.

And I know you like it So you try to hide it

The intensity of my feelings was the scariest part. Once I realized I truly loved her the worst part of coming out began for me. I had to come to terms with my sexuality in a new way. It wasn't just that I thought some girl at the club was hot anymore, I suddenly caught myself thinking about growing old with that girl. I can't say I dealt very well with that. I tried to hide my feelings even harder and it took me another year or so until I came out.

In eyes, lost in confusion Golden hearts, left all illusion Is it my imagination?

I was completely confused and tried to tell myself I was imagining my feelings but ultimately I couldn't deny what my heart was telling me.

And you know I like it So I dive to find it

I never dove to find it. I never told her how I felt. I really regret that now. But that line is why I love this song so much. It makes me want to be braver next time.