spiderlegs (curling upwards)

"so many spiderlegs curling upward..
on the floor of this hospital ward..
nurses hover, with their mouths covered in gauze..
they'll tell you that you're "sick inside, but can't tell the cause."
now i feel as broken as these window panes..
as i progressively grow (more) insane.
always the victim. never the black widow.
covered by darkness, it hides by the window.
"you can't kill me, i'm already dead..."
said the blood dripping from the back of your head.
now blood runs colder than ice.
gauging how much nothingness could really suffice.
but you could see what really matters..
piecing-back the glass image that shatters...
but, always the victim. never the black widow.
covered by darkness, it hides by the window.
(& it waits for us all.....)"
black goo is dripping down the back of my mind..
and everything's rotting away, like old orange rinds..
(behold, this pale nightmare..
the reflection in the mirror that you fear..
all the girls you never kissed..
the painfully opaque ghost you never missed..)
so many spider-legs, curling upwards..
on the floor of this, hospital ward..
(oh the tangled web we weave..
from the moment the idea is conceived..
i wish i had a self in which i believe..
in which you believed..)
i'm not so scared that, i can't GET MY.SELF
our of here again, i just like.it.here.