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If Big Bird Said the F Word Lyrics
If Big Bird said the F word
Everything would turn to shit
'Cause the media would make a
Three-ring circus out of it
The government would organize
A brutal public pluck
And every kid in this country would
Learn how to spell "fuck"
Bert and Ernie would be forced
To admit that they were gay
The FBI would raid their house
In search of DNA
There'd be secret sex tape footage
Showing whips and rubber ducks
And every kid in this country
Would get to watch them fuck
Oscar the Grouch would get sued by the EPA
Snuffleupagus would get hunted down and shot by the NRA
The IRS would surely haul the crooked Count away
Then make lovable, furry old Grover turn star witness for the state
If Big Bird said the F word
Everything would turn to shit
Before you march on Washington
To protest censorship
Just think of all the little ones
In the morning waking up
To "Hello, boys and girls,
Can you say 'fuck'?"
Everything would turn to shit
'Cause the media would make a
Three-ring circus out of it
A brutal public pluck
And every kid in this country would
Learn how to spell "fuck"
To admit that they were gay
The FBI would raid their house
In search of DNA
Showing whips and rubber ducks
And every kid in this country
Would get to watch them fuck
Snuffleupagus would get hunted down and shot by the NRA
The IRS would surely haul the crooked Count away
Then make lovable, furry old Grover turn star witness for the state
Everything would turn to shit
Before you march on Washington
To protest censorship
In the morning waking up
To "Hello, boys and girls,
Can you say 'fuck'?"
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