Everybody Gets High

I think this song is about a man who had a hard childhood and suffered from severe depression and drank alcohol and and did a lot of drugs to get rid of his problems.

"Once upon a time in a land far away - There lived a little boy" I interpreted this as just the beginning of the story of the man's life

"he drank all day" This is showing that he drank alcohol

"Friends called him stupid and his brothers called him gay" This is showing how he was never treated right by any of his peers

"Emptied all the bottles 'til the pain went away" He drank so much alcohol until he felt better

"Whiskey was his friend, he didn't have another" He never had anyone to talk to, so he just drank whiskey

"Vicodin his vice, his real and only lover" Vicodin is a prescription drug which he probably took to make the pain go away, as he didn't have a girlfriend to comfort him

"Smoked a pack or two, it never was a problem" He would smoke a pack or two of cigarettes as a coping mechanism for the depression

"Popped a pill or two, they really made him blossom" He could have taken a few pills of any kind of drug; it made him feel happy

"Take a sip, take a sip, take a sip" He is drinking a lot of alcohol

"And a trip, and a trip, and a trip" Probably tripping on some kind of drug, probably acid

"And I'm like, when you bitch, when you bitch, when you bitch - Counterfeit hypocrite holy shit" He is tired of just everyone's bullshit at this point

"There lived a little boy and he cried all day" His depression made him really upset all day

"Playboy bunny magazines would never get him laid" He would masturbate to magazines with attractive woman in them but it wasn't the same as having real sex

"He downed another bottle 'til the pain went away" This made him so sad that he needed to drink alcohol to make himself feel better

"Everybody gets high, why the hell can't I?" He thinks that everyone is happy and he doesn't understand why he wouldn't be able to be happy.