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Pure Comedy Lyrics
The comedy of man starts like this:
Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips
& so Nature, she divines this alternative
We emerged half-formed
& hope that whoever greets us
On the other end
Is kind enough to fill us in
&, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since
Now the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address
Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient
So somebody's got to go & kill something while I look after the kids
I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk?
He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch
It's hard not to fall in love with something so helpless
Ladies, I hope we don't end up regretting this
Comedy
Now that's what I call pure comedy
Just waiting till the part where they start to believe
They're at the center of everything
& some all-powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning
Oh, their religions are the best
They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed
With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks
These unbelievable outfits
& they get terribly upset
When you question their sacred texts
Written by woman-hating epileptics
Their languages just serve to confuse them
Their confusion somehow makes them more sure
They build fortunes poisoning their offspring
& hand out prizes when someone patents the cure
Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?
What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?
These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods
So they can go on being godless animals
Oh comedy
Their illusions they have no choice but to believe
Their horizons that just forever recede
& how's this for irony:
Their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs
That they never ever have to leave
Oh comedy
Oh, it's like something that a madman would conceive
The only thing that seems to make them feel alive
Is the struggle to survive
But the only thing that they request
Is something to numb the pain with
Until there's nothing human left
Just random matter suspended in the dark
I hate to say it, but each other's all we got
Our brains are way too big for our mothers' hips
& so Nature, she divines this alternative
We emerged half-formed
& hope that whoever greets us
On the other end
Is kind enough to fill us in
&, babies, that's pretty much how it's been ever since
Like, say, that half of us are periodically iron deficient
So somebody's got to go & kill something while I look after the kids
I'd do it myself, but what, are you going to get this thing its milk?
He says as soon as he gets back from the hunt, we can switch
It's hard not to fall in love with something so helpless
Ladies, I hope we don't end up regretting this
Now that's what I call pure comedy
Just waiting till the part where they start to believe
They're at the center of everything
& some all-powerful being endowed this horror show with meaning
They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed
With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks
These unbelievable outfits
& they get terribly upset
When you question their sacred texts
Written by woman-hating epileptics
Their confusion somehow makes them more sure
They build fortunes poisoning their offspring
& hand out prizes when someone patents the cure
Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?
What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?
These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods
So they can go on being godless animals
Their illusions they have no choice but to believe
Their horizons that just forever recede
& how's this for irony:
Their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs
That they never ever have to leave
Oh, it's like something that a madman would conceive
The only thing that seems to make them feel alive
Is the struggle to survive
But the only thing that they request
Is something to numb the pain with
Until there's nothing human left
I hate to say it, but each other's all we got
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...Pure Genius. Wow.
"epileptics" is not a word. I believe he must be saying Apoplectic.
@DrLexus it’s a crude plural version of “epileptic” as in someone with epilepsy. Reza Aslan’s book on the origins of Islam talks about how the prophet’s visions were actually due to epileptic seizures, which also factored into his poor health. I think there are similar theories (re: epilepsy) for other religious prophets as well, so I’m assuming the lyric is referring to this.
@DrLexus it’s a crude plural version of “epileptic” as in someone with epilepsy. Reza Aslan’s book on the origins of Islam talks about how the prophet’s visions were actually due to epileptic seizures, which also factored into his poor health. I think there are similar theories (re: epilepsy) for other religious prophets as well, so I’m assuming the lyric is referring to this.