Your Best American Girl

This song is a fucking frightening masterpiece. It's been weeks and I can't shake "but big spoon, you have so much to do, and I have nothing ahead of me". This needs to be carved on the UN headquarters.

Basically, this song is written in the perspective of a woman from a less than first world country (or immigrant, etc. just an under privileged presumably non-white lady) who clearly likes our stereotypical privileged white "American" dude. I have read that Mitski immigrated from Japan, so this might be something.

So SO many layers of commentary on privilege, western-centric standards, and inner conflict on hating/accepting the non-west parts of us not westerners lol. And the problems this self-awareness can have on relationships and obviously one's inner psyche.

Ok. First stanza (?) she likes white dude, and if she could, she'd spoon him and stuff. But, big spoon she addresses him, he's too good for her because he has so much opportunity, and (things to do), and just so much stuff to enjoy and experience that his privillage faculties, and stuff that is obviously made with him in mind. Of course, going back to her, either internally (her own beliefs/familial limitations) or externally (being under privileged, being in a country where she doesn't have opportunity, or even if she is at a country where there exists supposed opportunity, she obviously would never be chosen given she is likely disadvantaged having spent her formidable years in an opportunity-ridden developing country)-bad English etc. So on the one hand, we have well educated white guy who literally has his life ahead of him-we have Japanese/middle eastern/whatever/ woman who probably has an unheard of degree and not really anything of value that would take her anywhere. Hence having nothing ahead of her.

Second stanza, and the most objectively powerful and worthy of UN-writing on the wall imo.

"You're the sun, you've never seen the night".

This white dude is the sun, literally the earth revolves around him. He's never SEEN the "night" aka the struggles-the REAL struggles that one would go through coming from a shitty background/opportunity lacking place. This dude doesn't know what it's like to be hungry, scared, going through political or religious persecution. Worst he's ever been through is running out of almond milk at Whole Foods. He's never SEEN the night. But heard it's stories from "birds". Of course this bro turns on the TV goes on Facebook. He has heard of real struggles, hunger, families torn apart in Syria etc. And whose stories are these? They're the authors.

"But awake at night I'll be signing to the birds" (birds whom he hears the stuff from...so she'll be telling these)

"Your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me"

Self explanatory incompatibility and cultural differences part.

But the "I do, I think I do". The hesitation implied by the "think" carries with it a possibly life long struggle of accepting ones background in this American world. She has finally learned not to cringe at her parents' accents, and learned to appreciate certain aspects of her mothers' upbringing strategy, beliefs, and traditions. Which is a big deal. She finally accepted herself, and therefore is finally okay with never being involved in this perfect American relationship.

This song talks about a truly difficult struggle. It's so real. These types of relationships are appealing but truly truly not simple. And I think only a fellow brown/Asian/etc person can really understand how complex and deep it is. Amazing. Genius woman.