Why I Cry

Lady, I
Have been told that you only date nice guys
Well, if that's how you judge a lover's worth
Your ass just hit pay dirt
I'm the most sensitive man on God's green earth
Here's a rose bouquet
I also baked you some fresh creme brûlée
Now mount this stallion and we shall ride
While also flying kites
And make love inside a rainbow through the night
Then after sex I'll cry, cry
And also before sex I'll cry, cry
Girl, you know how I feel about you. It's like you're a
Fossil sample, and I'm an impatient paleontologist
'Cause I want to date you badly
Watch a film with me
I love boring romantic comedies
Hop in my carriage, this is like your dream
Any movie we see
Can be a drive-in movie if we build up enough speed
Now it's almost dawn
I can communicate with newborn fawns
Now they'll perform an ancient forest dance
That will melt off your pants
Take my junk by the hand, this is romance!
And during sex I'll cry
(Thinking about sex makes me) Cry
(Even when I use a sextant I) Cry
(They measure angles) Cry
Sorry, was that too sensitive for you?
Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
I'll just be over here thinking about a duckling,
Riding on the back of a puppy...
Also the duckling is wearing a tiny cowboy hat -- slightly tilted.