Rub Some Bacon on It

911, what is your emergency?
I nailed my finger to a birdhouse accidentilly
Do you have some bacon? (Bacon?)
Bacon, thats right
I have bacon leftover from dinner last night
Rub some bacon on it (What?)
On your hand, just do it.
Rub some bacon on it
Thats all there is to it?
What if I drop my phone?
Rub some bacon on it!
Or encounter my clone
Rub some bacon on it!
I get mononucleosis
Rub some bacon on it!
My nudes get posted
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it, yeah!
My home gets forclosed?
Rub some bacon on it!
My cat explodes
Rub some bacon on it!
I wake up in a trunk
Rub some bacon on it!
My friend goes steampunk
Rub some bacon on it!
I meet real pirates
Rub some bacon on it!
There's an awkward silence...
I say something unintentionally racist
Rub some bacon on it!
Im an adult with braces
Rub some bacon on it!
I cant swim
Rub some bacon on it!
Im visited by Mr. Tim
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it, yeah!
Bacon hotline, What's your problem?
What if I feed the troll?
Rub some bacon on it!
I'm attacked by a narwhal
Rub some bacon on it!
The apocalypse started
Rub some bacon on it!
I think I might have sharted
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it, yeah!
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it!
Rub some bacon on it, yeah!