The Alcohol Song

I've come out three times - first as queer and then as trans
Both times met with acceptance and metaphorical clapping of hands
Third time was met with disbelief an awkwardness so chronic
They thought I must be joking when I said "I'm an alcoholic"
They said I was too young as if there's an age limit for addiction
And they drink way more than me and there's absolutely nothing wrong with them
I can't say that I agree when our friendship's based on getting drunk
And sober conversation's a ship of silence that can't be sunk
'Cause I drink when I'm happy
and i drink when i'm sad
And I drink when life is going well
And when it turns out bad
I drink to remember
And I drink to forget
My mum said that if I carry on
I'll probably end up dead
I first realized there were problems when I woke in a stranger's bed
I didn't know where the fuck I was and I couldn't feel my head
I lost most of my money and I lost most of my clothes
And with that I found my pants and took to the open road
I tried to call my friends but none of them picked up
They were probably still out clubbing
Or probably just too drunk
So I called the one woman on whom I can rely
"Hi, Mum. It's me. I'm lost", I said and then I began to cry
Look around what can you see she asked and I could see Big Ben
And I found a train station and promised this won't happen again
When I promised that I meant it my drinking career would end
But it didn't stop me doing the exact same thing that next weekend
If you think it's not a problem then let me tell you this:
I promised my best friend i'd stopped drinking that same night I got pissed
I missed her exhibition because I was so hungover
It doesn't take a genius to work out that friendship's over
When you wanna put down the bottle but you've lost all the willpower
And you slip on the bathroom floor and knock yourself out in the shower
And you try to kill yourself 'cause you're convinced you won't be missed
The next morning you realize you only felt that way 'cause you were pissed
When you're abusive towards your friends and abusive towards your partner
And you wake up with no recollection of that behavior after
If you've still got the audacity to tell me I'm okay
Then my friend stay the fuck outta my life and stay the fuck outta my way