so satisfied i said a lot of things tonight
so long aphasia & the ways it kept me hiding
it's not so much exactly all the words i used
it's more that i was somehow down to let them loose
so complicated i cant wait to get explaining
your listening distended out since i've been crying
so long aphasia & the ways it kept me hidden
so long to silent nerves & hesitant oblivion
you came & sent me out unfurling in the street
& i felt unprecedented confidence in speaking
stick around im thinking things'll be alright
newly delivered wont you live with me tonight
something tonight was such a letdown on my pride
it takes a part of me i don't got to take some things in stride
i'd pace around the place so quiet in myself
id wake the next & see my silence went unfelt
just when i thought i had this pattern sorted out
apparently my ventricles are full of doubt
now
nah things go wrong sometimes don't let it freak you out
but if i don't have you by me then i'll go underground!
nah but what you've got was in your reaches all along
plus one day you'll be reaching for me & i'll be gone
to help remind myself I wrote this little song
one day i won't need your love
one day i won't define myself by the one i'm thinkin of
& if one day i won't need it
one day you won't need it
so long aphasia & the ways it kept me hiding
it's not so much exactly all the words i used
it's more that i was somehow down to let them loose
your listening distended out since i've been crying
so long aphasia & the ways it kept me hidden
so long to silent nerves & hesitant oblivion
& i felt unprecedented confidence in speaking
newly delivered wont you live with me tonight
it takes a part of me i don't got to take some things in stride
i'd pace around the place so quiet in myself
id wake the next & see my silence went unfelt
apparently my ventricles are full of doubt
now
nah things go wrong sometimes don't let it freak you out
but if i don't have you by me then i'll go underground!
nah but what you've got was in your reaches all along
plus one day you'll be reaching for me & i'll be gone
to help remind myself I wrote this little song
one day i won't define myself by the one i'm thinkin of
& if one day i won't need it
one day you won't need it
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From a 2016 Pitchfork interview, Evan describes what “Aphasia” is about:
"Aphasia is a neurological condition that prevents you from accessing words well, and we have a song called “Aphasia,” and people have asked, “Do you actually have aphasia?” No, it’s a metaphor. It’s a fear of mine that I won’t be able to express myself well enough, or that I’ll be somehow trapped inside myself. Maybe a lot of people feel that way. So I’m using it metaphorically as an extension of solipsism. Not only am I afraid of discovering that I am the only real thing, but I can’t communicate that discovery to anyone because I’ve lost my use of language. That’s what Cardinal is about for me."