Cosmic Hero

If I want to feel a song in my lower abdomen I play this song. Something about the tone and mellow melody hits me. There are lots of depressing songs but how many are so forthright about everything. And so early. As if to announce yeah, this is the sad song. Deal with it ass”””””. “And of course I'm alright with death But why do you talk about it so goddamn much?” I talk about it a lot. My dad had cancer recently. We finally had some good talks. He was a Townes van zandt fan so I turned him on to the silver Jews American water album. He loved random rules. David berman disapproved I guess. Time told. My dad went into remission. We have little to talk about now.

That opening horn is a slow killer then built up. Man. “All my favorite singers aren’t frank ocean.”But I like frank ocean. Words written are so much better than pure singing. Listen Toledo you’re awesome. I just remembered well this song has reminded me of it 20 times or more in lightning flashes of near blackout memory that I’ve tried to bury with gallons and gallons of vodka. Isn’t that funny you want to forget it but it’s the only thing that grabs you from below and says, that really happened. My as I was growing up, five year older next door neighbor when I was twenty in the bar, Saw me pushing away some dude in the bar, it was harmless. Outside the bar at my back He punched him out, like, knocked him out unconscious supposedly I don’t know I never asked him to kick his ass for me. But it does happen I guess, regrettably, sometimes. It was weird. He wasn’t like a violent dude. Made me once again rethink my life. This got so personal. But I like it. “If you just want it to be ok it will never be ok”. It’ll be alright but I’m left here supposedly alone. I guess my point is that will Toledo is beyond his years as they say but they said that about me. In reality you’ll feel comfortable until you don’t.