I Don't Like Who I Was Then

Tossed around like sea glass
And you rounded out my edges
I'll feel better when the headaches go away
I got a scar across my forehead turning purple in the cold
From a night at Shore Memorial
I was sixteen and afraid
Turned away, like I’m working baby face out of Mid-South in the ‘80s
I kept a blade hidden in my wrist tape
I think I’m growing into someone you could trust
I wanna shoulder the weight til my back breaks
I want to run til my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough.
Hidden in the tall grass in the naked light of day
I put my past-self in the ground
I’ve been dancing on the grave
I’m not the person that I was then
I’m tearing him away
I was bitter, I was careless, I was 19 and afraid
But you deserved more from me
I don’t know why I would say those things
But you deserved more from me
And I’m trying every day
I think I’m growing into someone you could trust
I wanna shoulder the weight til my back breaks
I want to run til my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough
You left me walking in circles, you were a shot in the dark
You were the baby teeth I buried, you were the sounds of distant cars
You left me walking in circles, you were a shot in the dark
You were the banner that says “No One” that I tattooed across my heart
You left me walking in circles, you were a shot in the dark
You’re scattered like ashes across every song that I write
You’re where the light pollution starts
I think I’m growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight til my back breaks
I want to run til my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
Enough is enough