Perry Had a Pimple

Perry had a pimple, an acne zit
Started out real simple but the zit wouldn't quit
No one really noticed, but Perry knew it was there
It was a blood pore impaction, a bacterial action
It was just a little redness right between the eyes
But a zit with an ambition is a danger in disguise
Momma said now don't you touch it and the zit will go away
But he locked the latch on the bathroom door and done it anyway
Tried a little Stridex, a smear of Clearasil
Even tried to Oxecute it but the zit he couldn't kill
So he pinched it with his fingers, and the tongs from near the fire
Then he really got serious with some channel lock pliers
It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn't quit!
In the middle of the night, the zit began to plump
And it swelled up like a water balloon just hangin' on a pump
It pushed aside the nightstand, it pushed aside the chair
It went right through the bedroom door just like it wasn't there
Oh, down in the kitchen you could hear the dishes break
When it sat down at the table and had a bowl of frosted flakes
It was a zit, It was a zit, that wouldn't quit
Oom pa pa oom pa pa oom pa pa mao mao ooo
Well the action TV weatherman at his doppler radar screen
Felt his pancake makeup crack at a sight he'd never seen
So the weatherman called the governor
On the governor's secret line
He said "Theres a matter of municipal security that you should be aware of at this time
It's a high-pressure center, half the city wide
With what appears to be a teenage boy hanging off one side."
It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn't quit!
Well, the governor called the SWAT team dermatologist
With a face like stone he said "We don't negotiate with zits."
He explained the laws of attraction that no man can repeal
Like lightning to a golfer, like a klepto to a steal
So they slid the secret weapon out, no zit could deny
It was a magnifying bathroom mirror seventeen stories high!
It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn't quit!
Well the zit began to rumble
And we all ran away
And what happened next post traumatic stress just won't allow me to say!
But it was two townships over when Perry hit the ground
And do you know the cost to power-wash a small Midwestern town?
Now Perry’s on probation ‘til the day that he retires
He can’t have fried foods, chocolate cake, or channel-lock pliers
It was a zit! It was a zit! That wouldn’t quit!
Oom pa pa oom pa pa oom pa pa mao mao ooo