Secretary

Secretary says you've got a meeting
And the Secretary's always right
You don't know what you'd do without her
And you can't even remember
How you met her but she runs your life
She keeps the wolves away when you most need it
And you need it more than yesterday
Pencil in her hair is always sharp
But nothing's sharper than the look she gives you
When you try to make her stay
Secretary knows your weaknesses
A dozen roses' sweetness is
No more than she deserves from you
Tell her to tell you what to do
You don't know where she goes when she leaves you
Even if you did who would believe you
The shouting on the phone has gotten frequent
Hands are shaky and you need a shave
Secretary steps out for a minute
Hands you whiskey razors aspirin
And the order for your wife’s bouquet
The smell of smoke is always on her breath
Though you’ve never seen her smoke a single cigarette
Did you get the Secretary's memo
Pay attention cause it's gonna hurt
Secretary says she'll take a letter
Did you let her take the thing that's beating
Underneath your starched white shirt
Is she on your side or taking over
She'll eat your heart if you tell her you love her