Thank You, Judge

She got my bank account
She got my convertible car
She got my brand new house
She got my Bar B Q
Thank you, Judge
She got my color TV
She got my magazines
She got my king size bed
Bailiff: All rise for the honorable Judge Shegotz Allyahaf
Judge: This Court is in session. Will the Plaintiff procreed ?
Billy: Uh… that yer wife?
J: Yeah.
Billy: She seem kinda upset…
J: Yeah…
Billy: I think you in trouble.
She got my washer and dryer
She got my CD player
She got my records, too
She got my pork and beans
She got my pool table
She got my swimmin’ pool
She got my motorcycle
She got my stereo
Thank you, Judge
Billy: What… what’re ya doin’ out here in yer front yard?
J: She’s…
Billy: What’s all the noise about?
J: She’s screamin’!
Billy: That’s yer wife?
J: Used to be.
Billy: What’s she throwin’?
J: My socks.
Billy: Got yer suitcase. What’s all the cops doin’ here?
J: She called’em, won’t le me in…
Billy: That’s yer underwear she’s throwin’?
J: Yeah, that’s all my underwear.
Billy: Damn!
She got my whisky still
She got all my tools
She got my motorboat
She got my stash of beer
She got my fishin’ gear
She got my .38
She got my lawn mower
She got my leaf blower
She got my mobile home
She got my favorite rug
She got the Barc * O Lounge
She got my stuffed deer head
She got my pump shotgun
She got my hammock swing
Thank you, Judge
Billy: Uh… first and last months’ rent. In advance!
J: Damn!
Billy: That’s the way it is.
J: But it’s a one room…
Billy: That’s a way it is… and a cleaning deposit!
J: A cleaning deposit?
Billy: Yeah, in advance.
J: There’s sure a lot of traffic around here, trucks…
Billy: Trucks stop nearby, open all night.
J: What’s… What’s all that shakin’?
Billy: Subway… Yer not gonna start cryin’ on me, whinin’, are ya?
J: No…
She got my dog and cat
She got my refrigerator
She got my pots and pans
She got my VCR
She got my DVD
She got my trophy fish
Thank you, Judge
Billy: You under arrest!
J: Under arrest? I just came over to see the dog…
Billy: That’s no way to talk about your wife!
J: I…
Billy: Gonna do a strip search.
J: A strip search?
Billy: Bend over.
J: Bend over?
Billy: Bend over. Get used to it!
Thank you, Judge!