Does It Amaze Thee?

All the ways I think I'm a man
I'm still just a boy and
Every time I think I have a plan
The road ahead gets destroyed
I'm chewing off the skin from my fingernails
Hoping some half-studied drug is gonna tip the scales
Am I just hyper-motivated or a masochist
I'd take a tub filled with bleach over a life with this
Staring at a stucco ceiling I just can't stop
Feeling like I'm falling back on every little thought-crime
It worked out for me big time thinking on the old life
Back when I was always very thirst
Now gaining weight and thirty
I'm getting pretty thirsty, thirsty, thirsty
If I was just crazy
We could work through things in good time, but I'm too lazy
So it's back to the couch where I find my days get hazy
Watching lots of (events that ain't mine?)
Does it amaze thee, that I can be this bent up and still thrive?
Every inch of ground I think I've gained
Comes at much deeper grade
I've lost my place for the hundredth time today
So I re-read the same page
I'm wiping off blood from my fingernails
Because I bit too much as the thought prevailed
And the words that dissolved my mental dam:
Is this all I want or all I am?
I wish that I could just stop
Wishing I was punk rock
I hear every tick-tock
Counting down the stressing over grey hairs
interviews and day-cares
Wishing I was still where
everything was dirty clothes and knapsacks
rocking for a six-pack
I could never go back, I will never go back
If I was just crazy
We could work through things in good time, but I'm too lazy
So it's back to the couch where I find my days get hazy
Watching lots of (events that ain't mine?)
Does it amaze thee, that I can be this bent up and still thrive?
Too much everything everywhere all the time (x8)
If I was just crazy
We could work through things in good time, but I'm too lazy
So it's back to the couch where I find my days get hazy
Watching lots of (events that ain't mine?)
Does it amaze thee, that I can be this bent up and still thrive?