Shameproof Flirt

I know a girl who isn't getting any younger
almost a woman but she's got a ways to go
appetite suppressants couldn't cure her hunger
there's quite a difference between the two, you known
but ever since you took up with him
you haven't had a minute to spare
ever since you hooked up with him
it's neither hide nor hair
someone here's a dim bulb
someone here's a tightwad
someone's having phone sex when they're not committing mail fraud*
someone's eating lipbalm
someone needs a stiff prod
someone get this blowtorch out to melt this little tin god
hey shameproof flirt, where does it hurt?
don't try to touch him when he's naked beneath his nightshirt
so prim and pert, so cruel and curt
dead-set on shattering the faith of a recent convert
ever since you took up with him
there hasn't been a moment to lose
ever since you hooked up with him
you've been a spitting, sputtering fuse
someone's played a bit part
someone's getting slipshod
someone got their licks in just before those kicks got outlawed
someone here's a crack shot
someone's looking slack-jawed
someone get this blowtorch lit to melt this little tin god
*We recognize and apologize for the lack of subject/pronoun agreement in this line