Reaper Man

I believe this song is all about the unexpected roads we get lost in in life. This person recognizes that they are incredibly different from everyone they know. Everyone's "on the job" & "on a leash", meaning everyone else is very tame and focusing on important things in life, such as being employed and making a positive name for themselves. Meanwhile, this person is running rampant through the streets, avoiding all responsibility, including the responsibility to themselves (aka taking care of themselves in both body and mind). They refer to themselves as a "reaper man," that they will obtain everything they want and then just totally fuck it up because they're incredibly irresponsible and uncaring. They're just throwing their body around to anyone and everyone. "Oh yeah, I'm a sexy mess. Go on the date just to get the dress off." At this point in life, they're saying "Fuck it, I'm gonna throw conventional adult life out the window and fuck everything in my life up, but make it fun by being a slut (which there's nothing wrong with being one, I'm not shaming!) and getting some round the clock." However, they start seeming to notice just how destructive all that they're doing is. They start asking themselves things like "How'd I ever get so off my rocks? How'd I ever get so lost? How'd I ever get so indiscreet? How'd I ever get so freaky?" They're reflecting on their earlier years, times when they had aspirations, where they were successful, when people liked them for more than their sexual organs. They also acknowledge a decline in their sanity and mental well-being by calling themselves an "ugly mess" and that their personality and mental health matches their mug, but the pain their brain causes them is the real issue. They just ask themselves "Why? Why? WHY???" over and over and over again, slowly spiraling out into insanity. One day, they realize that they've hit rock bottom. They're not the person they were destined to be. This personality is definitely temporary. I am not myself in the slightest. They acknowledge that the only way to escape the black hole of despair is to love themselves, and that they've "got no choice" but to try and learn how to do that all over again. Honestly, I think this song is the best song in the entire world. I believe sooo many people can relate to this. I know I certainly can. Mother Mother, if you guys are reading this, know you guys are so inspirational, and that I no longer feel so alone. I love you all so much!